7 Worst Online Dating Profile Photos

Your profile photo is often the first impression you have on people. This element is compounded by the advent of superficial platforms so you need to stay on your toes to make sure your dating game isn’t totally lost by one bad photo.

 

kurt cobainThe Someone Else

If your main profile photo is of someone else, you are obviously at odds with your appearance, or feel the need to make a statement with your photo, because you doubt anyone will get to know you long enough to naturally discover what you like. That, or you are so pretentious, you feel the need to shove your political, religious or musical tastes down anyone’s throat — even complete strangers on the internet.

 

lapdanceYou, With a Stripper

A photo taken by a bro on the sly while you get a lap dance, you with a Playmate-esque shotgirl  on each arm, or you with several girls in bikinis on a boat says one thing: You require sex (with anyone) and the validation it brings to your existence, and want anyone to know it. Basically, you’re a dick.

 

 

dad and kid with catYour Cat and/or Child

This tear-jerker type pic says your identity is pretty much consumed with the fact that you have a kid or a pet, because your life pretty much is consumed with the fact that you have a kid or a pet. You want the whole universe to see the pictures of your kid and say “Awww. You feed something regularly!” Or, you want the whole universe to see the pictures of your pet and say “Awww. You feed something regularly!” Either way, the ‘likes’ you get from these photos are out of pity.

 

double fisting drinksThe Doublefist

If you are featured in a profile photo with a drink in each hand, swigging Jager straight out of the bottle, slamming down chunks of a vodka-infused watermelon, or performing any other drinking feat for that matter, it tells the world you have a drinking problem — and will have fun at all costs. Those costs include, but are not limited to: your career, your education, and healthy relationships with other humans. This class of photos also proves you don’t care what anyone thinks about you professionally, and don’t plan on starting anytime soon.

 

 

 

kim k kidBaby You

You’re old, and it’s hilarious to see what you looked like sooo looong ago! In fact, you’re so old, people look at the photo and ask: “Is that you??”

 

 

 

 

 

over exposed filterThe Overexposed, Black and White, Out of Focus, Ethereal Art Photo

We all took a Photography 101 class, but your profile photos shouldn’t read like your freshman year syllabi. The only thing these photos say about you is that you are not attractive enough in person to bear the thought of an unadulterated photo. On that note, delete those photos of Alexander Hamilton, Euclid and any work of Gustav Klimt, and replace it with an simple sign that says: “I like stuff.”

 

 

 

tandem skydiveThe Showoff

The only thing vainer than a photo of you leaning on your hot sports car is one of you on top of a mountain. Or skydiving. Or skydiving in your sports car. The point of a profile is not to make people jealous. It’s to show who you are. If your life is an amalgamation of thrill-seeking narcissism because you crave validation from your peers, by all means post that photo of you hot air ballooning with Richard Branson and Michael Jackson’s ghost. We will all be impressed.