Why You Might Suck At First Dates

Restaurant date

What is a great first date idea?

Knowing where to go on a first date can literally be make or break your long term dating potential.  If the date turns out to be boring or generic then the chances are that the relationship is going to get off on the wrong foot before it even begins.

So let’s start with the worst first date ideas:

Going to the cinema – This may be surprising to many but the cinema is actually a terrible first date as it involves sitting down in a silent environment without any interaction with one another.  This conveys a complete lack of planning and is also a sign that you are not used to dating as you’re aiming for minimal conversation.  Never go to the cinema on a first date, instead save this for a later date!!!

Going out for dinner – Dinner has got to be the worst first date possible.  You have to sit opposite someone and eat in front of them when you’re probably not feeling that comfortable.  The attention is on both of you which can put a huge strain on the conversation.  What do you talk about? How do you keep the conversation flowing? The likelihood is that it could end up feeling like an interview with random questions being posed at one another, which is hardly fun!!

Coming straight over for dinner – This is way too desperate and try hard but, believe me, many people still suggest this for a first date.  They can’t comprehend that dating is a process and should be full of many different fun interactions before your date has the opportunity of seeing where you live. It’s also good to keep an air of mystery and hold back showing them your place until you know each other better.

Going for a drink/coffee – This shows no imagination whatsoever and will not help kick start the potential dating process off in the best way possible.  It’s ok to go for a coffee or a drink but only whilst you are on a date! DO NOT make going for a drink the actual date itself!!

Good ideas for first dates

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination. Albert Einstein

Never has a truer word been spoken, particularly in reference to first dates.  Ideally you want to do something imaginative and significantly, something that will also take the pressure off the interaction between both of you.  This way you can enjoy each other’s company whilst also doing something fun.

Here are a few great examples of where to go on a first date:

Existing event – The key here is to have an interesting lifestyle where you are already going to different events on a frequent basis such as a food festival, a live music gig etc.  You can then invite your potential date along as you are already going; this takes the pressure off the date and makes it much more fun for them to come along with you. Crucially you’ll find that it also makes it easier for them to have  more confidence to say yes.

Shopping – You need to buy a new pair of shoes for a job interview, or a new shirt etc.  The important point here is that you need their opinion on something that you are going to buy; this will give them a purpose and a reason as to why they should come with you.

Mini dating – So meeting them for shopping and then grabbing a coffee, perhaps even being more spontaneous and saying look there’s a bowling ally lets go have a quick game.  The intention is to have several mini (and different) fun interactions which will result in speeding up the connection building process of the first date.

In short, when you are actively going on first dates you need to try and take the pressure off the interaction between you and your date.

The idea here is that the pressure is minimised if you are doing something actively together. As an example there’s a Jamie Oliver restaurant near my house where head chefs host classes in how to cook specific meals… what a great first date as it’s interactive and it’s a fun evening based around great food.

Written byGary GunnBased in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specialising in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

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