Best Ways To Approach a Girl

approachIf a girl seems unapproachable, it’s probably because she’s worth the trepidation: the momentary smile, the way she absentmindedly curls her hair around one finger while she chats with friends, the shape of her hips in those jeans. No eye-roll worthy pick-up line is going to suffice — you need to bring a pistol to this knife fight.

 

Be Napolean Bone-aparte

Confidence is key. You’ve got a dog in this race, and by dog we mean, your penis. But don’t let the wrong head craft your war plan. Tread lightly, because even if this isn’t your dream girl, treating the situation like it’s no ordinary come-on will mean success will surely be yours.

 

Leave the Cheese at La Fromagerie

And know what the hell a fromagerie is. It might sound crazy, but you need to have a classy conversation with a girl before you ever ask for her number. Knowing a thing or two about something other than football and basketball is the best way to get her interested. Pull out your smart phone and check what has happened in foreign policy that day, and come up with an intelligent and thought-provoking foray into a conversation. Smart guys are sexy, because they’re usually successful, but don’t sound too nerdy, or she might feel like she showed up to class without studying for the test. If you can sit down next to her, pull out your phone and act like you’re reading the news for the first time, and look over to her as though you just had to get her opinion on what happened.

 

Don’t Be a Guy Friend

The inherent danger in the non-sexual convo approach is that you might actually get along. You might unwittingly stumble into Just-a-friend-ville — and that’s no where you want to be. Make sure she knows you desire her: Every woman is flattered by subtle clues you want her. Make constant intense eye contact (win the staring contest!) and remember details about her life to bring up later in the conversation.

 

Be Sexy, Not Overzealous

In between chapters of conversation, inject delicate flirtations such as handing her a drink but holding it a few seconds too long. How you look at her should (and will) tell her everything about what you want, and who you are. Just don’t be creepy, or you’ve just blown your chances. Subtlety is key, after all, you just met, and she has a lot more to lose than you.

 

Set a Deadline on Your Next Chapter

If she’s worth all of this trouble, then you’re likely not the first suitor she’s encountered, and you’re certainly not the last — or even the best. Make sure you don’t end up a crumpled business card in the bottom of her purse by setting the stage for the next meeting. If you talked about wine, tell her you were thinking about going to a local winery or tasting and ask her along. If she mentioned she hates golf tell her you feel you both should give the entire sport a chance at the putting range. Make sure you’re not just asking her out on ‘to dinner,’ and she’s way more likely to be intrigued.

 

5 Tricks to Get Her in the Mood With Even Touching

turn her onHopefully you’re at the point with a girl where you’re not simply praying she goes out on a second date with you. Your work is still not done, however. Keeping a girl in the mood is a battle as constant as regularly flossing. It’s no chore, however. The more creative you are, the more of a challenge it will be — and the more interesting it will be.

Start Flirting Early

There’s nothing worse than a last minute attempt to jump into a girl’s pants at the end of a date. Anyone worth doing is worth doing right, so put in the time and start early. Flirt with her via text while she’s at work. Keep up the momentum with subtle contact throughout the night, such as slipping your hand into her back pocket as you walk along. Give her a light squeeze and a smile every so often to remind her you want her.

 

Location, Location, Location

Pimping out your atmosphere is one of the most effective ways to turn her on. It doesn’t have to be as cliché as incense and rose petals on the bedspread, but don’t underestimate the power of a little ‘Fling’ Shui. Try relaxing the setting with something a little more original, such as running through the sexiest selections in your record collection together. Don’t forget the subdued lighting: a soft pink glow hides many a flaw…and inhibition.

Boost Her Self-Confidence

Don’t talk about other girls you think are hot all night, just keep the focus on her, and how much you want her in less than obvious ways. Go gaga over how cute her toes are, or long her neck is. Compliment her intelligence and wit, with subtlety: “You know I don’t think I know one single person who would ‘get’ that joke…”  She will gain self-confidence and admire you in return, which will go a long way later when you’re taking her clothes off.

Dominance

Women generally want a man to take control — just don’t take it too far. You don’t want to get rape-y or forceful, just use your natural advantages to dominate her. When the date is winding down, say as a matter of fact that she’s staying at your place tonight. When she gets all coy and protests, stop her and maintain eye contact until she gives in.

Liquor

When all else fails, get her buzzed. (Note that this says buzzed and not wasted.) No one wants to wake up with regret in the morning — wondering what the hell you’ve done is a major turn off.

 

5 Topics to Impress Her on a First Date

scarlett johannson

It’s often hard to come up with stuff to talk about on a first date. You don’t want to come off as too self-centered by telling her your whole life story, yet you are putting on a presentation in an attempt to sell her on why you’re the best choice for her. Subtly curate your conversation and, if all else goes well, you should be well on your way to that all-important second date. Here are 5 topics to impress her on a first date.

 

Your Charity Work

If you don’t do any charity work, then start. Even if you simply help update the Facebook page for your local animal shelter, find a few hours each month to devote to being the good guy. Even if you’re doing it just to appeal to girls, a lot of charitable organizations need all the help they can get, and who knows, you might even start to like helping others.

 

Your Investment Portfolio

This topic is tricky. Gordon Gekko’s “greed is good” mentality might work in the boardroom, but it can easily appear garish on a first date. The trick is to touch on the idea that you have several successful investments without making it seem as though you are trying to impress her with your overwhelming wealth. The best method is to pick one humble element of how you arrived at your riches, and focus on that. “It’s crazy! I had to save up like four paychecks for some Google stock in college…”

 

boys who play guitarYour Super Sexy Hobby

Danger sports such as rock climbing or kite surfing are impressive because they show that you’re bold, healthy, and full of adrenaline. Women are hard-wired to be attracted to an abundance of energy coupled with a lack of fear — signs you’re a good hunter and protector.

 

abs vs nerdYour Expertise

Intelligence is sexy, and it’s impressive to be well-versed on a topic such as 18th Century literature, string theory, classic cars, or Reagan-era politics. Just be extra careful not to come off as superior, or a pedant. She’s only going to be impressed with your knowledge on a certain topic if you possess more of it than she does, but she’s going to be largely turned off if you quiz her or make her feel stupid.

 

How Much You Love Your Family

Women are nesters by nature. They will always be impressed by how you visit your elderly grandmother every Tuesday no matter how busy you are, how you still mow your mother’s lawn every week even though she insists on paying someone to do it, or how you surprised your little sister with a trip to the Galapagos to learn about Darwin. It not only says you’re kind and empathetic, but showing her that you are focused on family tells her you’ll be good mating material.

 

Best Summer First Date Ideas

First dates are tricky, because you’re not only setting the stage for your first encounter, you’re telling your date a lot about yourself. Dinner and a movie is an old favorite, but it doesn’t show much creativity. An impressive first date idea puts you in control of the next move, because it leaves them wanting more.

 

1. Take a Winery Tourwine tasting

If you’re fortunate enough to live near a winery, book a car service to pick you and your date up, and take you back home. A quick web search can reveal many discount tour packages, and the same goes for the car service. Driving after sampling a few glasses of the vino is a big no-no, but paying for a car service shows you are both responsible and successful.

 

2. BYOB Painting Class

Hour or two hour-long classes are offered in almost every region of the country these days, and if one doesn’t exist in your area, call ahead and ask the instructor if there’s an adults-only art class where they wouldn’t mind you bringing a bottle or two. If the instructor gives you the green light, make sure you bring enough inexpensive bottles and plastic flutes for the whole class, and the instructor, to have a glass.

 

camping fire3. Go Camping

Book a campsite for a favorable time of year in advance and then invite your crush along. This one requires a bit of advance planning, however. Make sure the campsite offers amenities such as a shower and possibly even electricity. Bring along everything for a romantic rustic dinner and an evening fire. Mostly importantly: bring two tents and two sleeping bags. Presuming they’re going to sleep in your tent is rude enough to be a deal breaker.

 

4. Get Tickets for a Sporting Event

This idea works for both genders, even girls who aren’t sports fans. A girl who volunteers to get tickets to a sporting event shows she can be one of the guys. Both girls and guys will want to choose a sport such as hockey, basketball, or soccer, though. If the sparks aren’t there after 90 minutes with someone, the public setting gives you a perfect opportunity to cut and run.

 

5. Cooking Class

Men who can cook are an instant turn on, and the way to a man’s heart often really is through his stomach. Food, which ignites all of one’s senses, can always be a sexy cooking couple experience, so turn up the flames with a cooking class taught by a professional. Surf the Web for a culinary school or community college which offers a nighttime course without too much commitment.  If the date doesn’t whet your appetite by the end of the night, at least you learned a thing or two about cooking, and for that, your own appetite will thank you.

 

How To Make A Woman Want You

woman seducingIf the animal instinct has already set in and your eye contact tells you there’s a chance she wants you, your next move is to strategize your attack. It’s also time to play a little offensive defense: as successful as your fight plan may be, you’re going to have to pull off a few stealth moves that have her helping in her own defeat.

 

Keep the Upper Hand

If she’s a seven, you need to be an 8.5. If she’s better looking, make sure you come off as more successful. If she’s a stellar athlete, or a dancer, make sure she knows you’re renowned in your particular section of the business world. Everyone always wants to ‘date up,’ make sure she knows you’re a challenge for her.

 

Thwart Biology

Taller men are biologically more appealing to women, but if you don’t happen to have a height advantage, then take advantage of your other big muscle: your brain. Always have good posture, a classy walk, and deliberate movements. Always have unwavering eye contact, remain unaffected by trivial events, and be witty and intelligent. All of these qualities are surprisingly attractive to women, so what you lack in brawn, you can make up for in brainpower.

 

Be Unavailable

No matter how sophisticated she is, having to pursue you will drive her crazy (in a good way). Women are used to being pursued, not the other way around, so making her work for her time with you will always leave her wanting more. She will never get bored with the chase because it keeps her too busy. Don’t be an absentee lover, however. If she’s highly desirable, there inevitably will be more suitors out there, and you don’t want to lose your edge on the competition.

 

Stay Out of the Friend Zone

Make it clear that the only acceptable relationship for the two of you is a romantic one, just don’t be crass about it. You want to be friends of course, but you’re looking for a seriously intense romance, too. Make that proposition appealing, or you’re going to end up solidly in the dreaded ‘friend zone,’ which is incredibly hard to come back from.

 

Be the Good Guy

At the end of the day, she still wants you to take care of her. You sometimes want to seem aloof in your relationship, but if she thinks you don’t care if she sees other guys, she probably will. You still have to be protective: be her hero. Don’t forget it’s still pretty fair to call dating a ‘game.’ Too much bluffing without a few genuinely good hands will leave you bust.

 

Top 5 Things She Wants To Hear

complimenting womenDon’t cringe just yet, there are a few tried and tested survival tactics when forging through the forest of figuring out things she wants to hear. You’ve made the all-important first step towards bonding with her simply by considering what she wants to hear and what she doesn’t. Just bear in mind that every person is different: never expect every method to work 100 percent of the time.

 

“How Was Your Day?”

Yes, you are wincing at the thought of it. But, don’t even bother trying to get out of it — you’re going to have to ask her this every day. She might rant for hours about stuff you could care less about. She might say simply: “It was OK. Same old. What do you want for dinner?” If you’re not lucky enough for the latter, tough it out. If that sounds unbearable, try revising the question to “What’s the most interesting thing that happened to you today?” You might get an entertaining story rather than how her bitchy work friend pissed her off over some girl stuff when she something something something.

 

“You Look Beautiful/Sexy/Pretty”

Often this is said sufficiently enough with a knowing glance, and a little grab and a sweet kiss, but make sure you say it too. Women can’t hear often enough how beautiful they are. Figure out creative ways to inject it into new situations. When introducing her to someone new say “and this is the stunning Eleanor,” or pencil the words “You are beautiful” in the margin of the book she’s reading a good 10 pages ahead of where her bookmark is.

 

How Do You Feel About [Something]

Consulting her on anything is a good idea, be it business, your proposed new diet, or what she thinks about some recent political scandal. She needs to know you respect her enough to care about her opinion on everything.

 

“I Love You”

Rule Number One of dropping the L-bomb: Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. You WILL break her heart when it becomes clear it was only pillow talk. Rule Number Two: Even when you do mean it, don’t say it too soon. Use some restraint. She will perceive it, and it will make the moment when you do say “I Love You” all the more meaningful and emotional.

 

“You’re My Best Friend”

Telling her she’s your best friend is hands down the most important and flattering thing you could ever say to someone you’re in a romantic relationship with. Just make sure you mean it. Be careful though. It has to come after the L-word, or she’ll feel like she’s in friend-ville, or worse, she’s a friend-with-benefits.

5 Tips for Meeting Someone at the Gym

flirting at the gymThe gym can be one of the best places to meet someone: not only are you sure they care about their appearance and health as much as you do, but workout gears usually ensures you get a little sneak peek at the physical goods before you get too far down the dating road. Tread lightly, however. Some gym people are strictly there for a work out.

 

Don’t be ‘That Guy’

The worst guy at the gym is the one who’s there to pick up women. Although there are plenty of girls who want to be picked up while working out, it’s a mistake to assume most women want to be hit on in that situation. There’s a certain vulnerability to huffing through an hour treadmill jog in tight and revealing spandex, sans make-up, so don’t go on a balls out attack or you’ll only get defense in return.

 

Work on Your Rep[s]

Make sure you’re a healthy presence in the gym. If you’re going to offer to ‘spot’ someone on the bench press, you need to be two things: obviously physically fit enough to do so, and trusted by the gym staff and other gym-users. The last thing you want is for her to notice nervous glances or an eye roll from other gym folk when you offer to help.

 

Make Friends

One of the best ice breakers is the simple act of knowing someone’s name or even occupation before you meet them. It shows that you liked them enough to invest the time in asking about them. Just don’t get too stalker-y by pumping everyone in the gym for information or you’ll really creep them out. Becoming friends with the gym staff and patrons will help in your future conquests.

 

Practice Good Hygiene

If that workout god or goddess on whom you have had your eye sees you walk away from a machine without wiping it down, you’re sunk. Still worse, the last thing you want is the reputation for being ‘that smelly guy.’ Sweating at the gym is attractive; being stinky, well, just stinks.

 

Get Game

“‘Can You Spot Me?’ ‘Do You Know How This Machine Works?’ and ‘I Like Your Outfit’” are all legitimate ice breakers, but don’t rely on them. The best first impressions will happen naturally, and if she’s not interested in meeting people at the gym, the MP3 player likely won’t come off the whole time, so take the hint and don’t force it.

 

5 Foods Guys Shouldn’t Order on a First Date

bad first date

Getting to second (or perhaps even first) base should mean jumping through a few flaming hoops on your first date. You’ve picked out the perfect ‘business-casual’ outfit, quaffed your hair with expensive pomade to look like you don’t try, and cleaned out your car for the first time in weeks. Don’t blow it with ignorance of a few things NOT to order on a first date:

 

For Her

The most important thing not to order is FOR her. This archaic tradition should be considered as passé as a chaperone and — luckily for most Millennials — it is. However, remnants of the habit still linger. Often guys have been to a hotspot before and try to impress their date by adamantly suggesting a particular option. Don’t forget, she’s at least a little on the defensive on a first date, she shouldn’t have to fend off your forward food propositions as well.

 

Aphrodisiacs

While oysters, figs, pomegranate, and chocolate-covered strawberries are widely regarded as sexy additions to a meal with a girl to whom you’re attracted, ordering these foods on the first date could easily be regarded as presumptuous — and therefore disrespectful. Even if you’re hoping to get some, operate as if you’re not trying to seduce her right off the bat.

 

Don’t Be a Sloppy Joe

Never mind that chicken wings and ribs mean you’re at a restaurant that’s probably not nice enough to take a girl on a first date — you’re there, and eyeing something slathered in buffalo sauce. A good rule is: Don’t order anything which requires a bib, or comes with a basket of wet wipes. If that’s generally all you eat, do a quick YouTube search on table manners before you go on your next date. If you can follow those rules with what you order (i.e. which fork to use and how), you’re in the clear.

 

Reeking Haddock

Bean-laden chili dogs aren’t the only foul that will be called on you in the dating game. If you want to get your play on, skip the garlic, oysters, shrimp, salsa and other foods that will break your breath.

 

Salad

If you appear more concerned with your own body than hers, she won’t be too keen on that second date. A guy who is too body conscious is a turn off. Ordering a dinner salad (and nothing else) also tells her you aren’t really willing to cut lose in order to have fun with her tonight. Besides, you’re going to need some protein to make it through to the wee hours.

Tips For Meeting Her Parents

dates parentsIf you’re serious enough about a girl to meet her parents, be serious enough to do it right: for many, especially girls, not getting along with her parents can be an instant deal-breaker, whether it’s her or her ‘rents that cause the relationship to come to a complete halt.

 

You Don’t Have a Choice, So Enjoy It

Just about every girl has a mother, or a father, some other parental figure (or even all of the above) whom you’re going to have to meet and impressive. You’ll have to satisfy their fears that you are right for her. If she has someone like this in her life, quit trying to avoid it, and jump enthusiastically into it.

 

Always Bring a Gift

It might seem archaic or cliché, but many cultures around the world actually are insulted by a suitor showing up to a first meeting empty-handed. Do some research. If her father has been clean and sober for three years, don’t show up with a bottle of wine. If her mother is allergic to everything, don’t bring flowers. A very nice inoffensive art book is always a safe choice.

 

Be Completely Objective

We can all pick our friends, but we can’t pick our parents. Cut her some slack if you’re not a fan of her fam. Keep in mind, if they don’t appeal to you, there’s a very good chance you’re not their top choice for their daughter either.

 

Daddy’s Little Girl

When it comes to whom they are dating, parents are almost always going to be more protective of a daughter than a son. Girls in general have a lot more to lose: they’re more sensitive emotionally, and there’s the chance that an unwanted pregnancy can drastically change her life. Make sure you come off as loving and responsible. No one wants some guy playing it fast and loose with their little girl.

 

Getting Along Isn’t Optional

Do every conceivable thing you can during your first meeting to be agreeable with her folks. If that means shutting up when they say something preposterous, so be it. After all, smiling and nodding doesn’t have to mean you agree with them, just that you acknowledge their opinion on the matter. If you’re unlucky and they’re racists, anti-Semites, terrorists or junkies don’t let them bait you into discussion. Deal with their outrageousness outside of their home and, later, steer your relationship with their daughter accordingly.

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5 Tips for Dating a Single Mom

woman kissing childFinding out a woman who has been the subject of your affection is a mom can be daunting if not overwhelming. A lot of guys experience a flight response. But likely the information will leave a guy with a desire to give it a try, however, it will also leave you with a lot of questions. Once you’ve decided to embark on this new journey with her and a kid, you’ll have a little bit of homework.

1:Do the Research
Go online and find the answers to all of those unusual questions that will inevitably pop up — no matter how guilty they make you feel. Questions about new situations are always natural, so embrace the truth. Will sex be better, worse, or more often unavailable? Will I be expected to change certain of my bad habits because I might be a bad influence on children? Can I?

2:Curb Your Stress
She is going to pick up on how you’re dealing with the fact that she has kids. If you want it to be ‘no big deal,’ then make sure it isn’t. Feigning comfort with the situation won’t fly, so ensure you spend some time settling the details in your head before you interact with her again. Remind yourself that whatever you think your day-to-day problems are, she likely has more important ones to consider.

3:Meet the Kids
Be careful about how you introduce yourself once the big day of your first meeting approaches. Showing up with toys or candy might seem disingenuous or give the appearance of trying too hard. Don’t forget that, especially with older kids, in their minds, you are trying to replacing their father — at least for their mother.

4:Embrace the Benefits
A single mom has obviously been through a challenging relationship before, and has probably learned a thing or two about traversing the male-female courting ritual. She might be less likely to start a spat over something petty, thus avoiding a three day argument. Or you may find that you couldn’t fathom getting jealous over her flirting shamelessly in a bar with other guys. Whatever the benefit to her experience in relationships is, take it to heart. Learn from her, and make sure she knows you appreciate those qualities.

5:Get Ready for Change
Whether you want to admit it or not, getting intimate with a single mom is going to affect your groove. Instant Kids means you’re going to have to end a night or two each week early because the sitter needs to leave. You’ll find yourself locking up liquor, evidence of smoking and dirty movies. At least once in a while, you’re going to have to change that spontaneous Vegas getaway to a well-planned weekend at Disney. The changes don’t have to be daunting, however. The bachelor life was never meant to last forever. So embrace the newfound inspiration to see life through a child’s — you might find you feel like a kid again.

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