Best Ways To Approach a Girl

approachIf a girl seems unapproachable, it’s probably because she’s worth the trepidation: the momentary smile, the way she absentmindedly curls her hair around one finger while she chats with friends, the shape of her hips in those jeans. No eye-roll worthy pick-up line is going to suffice — you need to bring a pistol to this knife fight.

 

Be Napolean Bone-aparte

Confidence is key. You’ve got a dog in this race, and by dog we mean, your penis. But don’t let the wrong head craft your war plan. Tread lightly, because even if this isn’t your dream girl, treating the situation like it’s no ordinary come-on will mean success will surely be yours.

 

Leave the Cheese at La Fromagerie

And know what the hell a fromagerie is. It might sound crazy, but you need to have a classy conversation with a girl before you ever ask for her number. Knowing a thing or two about something other than football and basketball is the best way to get her interested. Pull out your smart phone and check what has happened in foreign policy that day, and come up with an intelligent and thought-provoking foray into a conversation. Smart guys are sexy, because they’re usually successful, but don’t sound too nerdy, or she might feel like she showed up to class without studying for the test. If you can sit down next to her, pull out your phone and act like you’re reading the news for the first time, and look over to her as though you just had to get her opinion on what happened.

 

Don’t Be a Guy Friend

The inherent danger in the non-sexual convo approach is that you might actually get along. You might unwittingly stumble into Just-a-friend-ville — and that’s no where you want to be. Make sure she knows you desire her: Every woman is flattered by subtle clues you want her. Make constant intense eye contact (win the staring contest!) and remember details about her life to bring up later in the conversation.

 

Be Sexy, Not Overzealous

In between chapters of conversation, inject delicate flirtations such as handing her a drink but holding it a few seconds too long. How you look at her should (and will) tell her everything about what you want, and who you are. Just don’t be creepy, or you’ve just blown your chances. Subtlety is key, after all, you just met, and she has a lot more to lose than you.

 

Set a Deadline on Your Next Chapter

If she’s worth all of this trouble, then you’re likely not the first suitor she’s encountered, and you’re certainly not the last — or even the best. Make sure you don’t end up a crumpled business card in the bottom of her purse by setting the stage for the next meeting. If you talked about wine, tell her you were thinking about going to a local winery or tasting and ask her along. If she mentioned she hates golf tell her you feel you both should give the entire sport a chance at the putting range. Make sure you’re not just asking her out on ‘to dinner,’ and she’s way more likely to be intrigued.

 

How To Make A Woman Want You

woman seducingIf the animal instinct has already set in and your eye contact tells you there’s a chance she wants you, your next move is to strategize your attack. It’s also time to play a little offensive defense: as successful as your fight plan may be, you’re going to have to pull off a few stealth moves that have her helping in her own defeat.

 

Keep the Upper Hand

If she’s a seven, you need to be an 8.5. If she’s better looking, make sure you come off as more successful. If she’s a stellar athlete, or a dancer, make sure she knows you’re renowned in your particular section of the business world. Everyone always wants to ‘date up,’ make sure she knows you’re a challenge for her.

 

Thwart Biology

Taller men are biologically more appealing to women, but if you don’t happen to have a height advantage, then take advantage of your other big muscle: your brain. Always have good posture, a classy walk, and deliberate movements. Always have unwavering eye contact, remain unaffected by trivial events, and be witty and intelligent. All of these qualities are surprisingly attractive to women, so what you lack in brawn, you can make up for in brainpower.

 

Be Unavailable

No matter how sophisticated she is, having to pursue you will drive her crazy (in a good way). Women are used to being pursued, not the other way around, so making her work for her time with you will always leave her wanting more. She will never get bored with the chase because it keeps her too busy. Don’t be an absentee lover, however. If she’s highly desirable, there inevitably will be more suitors out there, and you don’t want to lose your edge on the competition.

 

Stay Out of the Friend Zone

Make it clear that the only acceptable relationship for the two of you is a romantic one, just don’t be crass about it. You want to be friends of course, but you’re looking for a seriously intense romance, too. Make that proposition appealing, or you’re going to end up solidly in the dreaded ‘friend zone,’ which is incredibly hard to come back from.

 

Be the Good Guy

At the end of the day, she still wants you to take care of her. You sometimes want to seem aloof in your relationship, but if she thinks you don’t care if she sees other guys, she probably will. You still have to be protective: be her hero. Don’t forget it’s still pretty fair to call dating a ‘game.’ Too much bluffing without a few genuinely good hands will leave you bust.

 

5 Tips to Separate Him From His Pack

guys at the barHumans will always be social animals, but if you’re out there and you’ve set your sight on one particular example of the male species, your chances are way better if you can get him on his own. You’ve worked hard on your game, but it likely only works one-on-one. If you get him flying solo, you also won’t run the risk of a wingman running interference, or competition from a rival female. Keep a few tips in mind and you’ll be two-to-tango in no time.

 

Carry a Spare

If you are out with a close girlfriend, counteract his wingman’s interference with your own wing-girl. Just make sure she knows in advance that you’re pawning her off on the friend, or you’re going to get some serious bitching-out over text the next morning.

 

wing waitress

Have A Wing Girl

If you’re not out with a wing-girl, don’t be too shy to radio in for help. If you can call in the Thelma to your Louise — i.e. another hot chick who can keep his friend(s) busy — you’re golden. Hell, she might thank you for it later. That, or she’ll never speak to you again. Make sure the risk is worth it.

 

 

Abscond With Him

You might not want to invite him straight into your locker room, but you will score a few points by getting him off the gridiron and onto a neutral playing field. If you can escape the meat market and get him into a bar where you know the bartender, a club which you like but he has never been to, or a venue where he feels slightly off-guard — such as an art show opening — you’ll be able to take the upper hand. Try a rouse such as “I left my wallet somewhere, will you help me find it?”

 

All’s Fair in Love and War

If all else fails and you can’t seem to get him away from his pack, a little light flirting with his friends will excite that part of the male psyche which forces them to win a female’s attention over other males. Pitting them against each other should be done with caution, however. You don’t want to start a war which results in a fist fight, just get them mentally competing against each other. Eventually make your favorite clear, and the others should soon back away. It’s somewhere in the Bro Code, allegedly.

 

Just Ask

Don’t under-estimate simply asking his friend (or friends) to make scarce. Make sure you do it in Stealth Mode, however. He doesn’t even know you’re interested in him — yet. He doesn’t want to feel Cougared. Wait until his friend goes to the bathroom and catch him before he returns. There aren’t too many guy friends who wouldn’t hastily invent some excuse to rush out early after you lay all your cards on the table, and reveal your sneaky plan to get his friend all to yourself. If you play your cards right, the next morning, your crush will thank his buddies for it.

 

5 Oufits to Wear to Catch Her Attention

Most guys don’t care that much about fashion, and most women forgive them for this, but a fashionably-challenged guy just isn’t attractive. There a few tips you can follow to keep your wardrobe to a minimum, with little fuss or cost. Get a few staple pieces and replenish them as necessary. If you’re still experiencing a sartorial conundrum, or you care at all how you look, spend a few minutes with a good men’s fashion magazine. Flip through the pages and absorb even a tenth of the concepts espoused, and you’ll automatically be more in tune to what’s appealing to women.

mens outfits

Skinnier Jeans

It’s 2014, and unfortunately for everything in your closet, styles have changed drastically in the last few years. Loose or “relaxed” fit now looks sloppy. No one’s saying it should look like you borrowed your girlfriend’s jeggings, but jeans need to be slim cut, no matter how big you are.

Flat-Front Fitted Pants

That’s right, even your work pants should be slim fit. Make sure they aren’t too tight or too short. Pleated front pants should be cut up and used to wax your car. If you’re new to fashion, white pants are generally only to be worn by Colonel Sanders, and while you’re at it, steer clear of bright colors and pastels as well. Tailored-looking clothing tells a woman you care (at least a tiny bit) about looking good.

Fitted Collared Shirts

Get at least one fitted blue collared shirt and a black one. They can be worn with jeans and still tell a woman you have a job. These will be your go-to shirts for most occasions. Stay away from obnoxious patterns and colors as, too often, they don’t make you stand out to women, they make you look silly.

V-neck Sweater

Plain V-necks look slightly preppy and nerdy-cute, two attributes that signal to women you’ve struck a comfortable balance between comfort and style. Save for sentimental sweats, give all your baggy workout clothes to charity, lest you be tempted to wear them out in public.

Actual Shoes

No one’s saying you can’t rock the Converse and suit look. It’s absolutely acceptable, especially if you can wear it to work. However, sneakers are unacceptable for dinner or a club night. In fact, it can be downright insulting to a woman if you show up for a date in dingy running shoes. A good rule of thumb is, if you’re going out after dark, dress as if you’re on trial for your life. Look respectable but not garish. You are, in fact, being judged by a jury of your peers.

mens outfits

10 Cheesy Pick Up Lines That Actually Work

You see a beautiful woman across the room, but what do you do next? In days gone by, people would let a woman know their feelings with poetry & roses. Today’s version of the condensed sonnet it the ever cheesy pick-up line.  Some lines may flop or make you look foolish, but here are 10 lines that can work if you use them confidently.

 

hey girl ryan gosling

1. You’re So Gorgeous That I Forgot My Pickup Line

Make this more believable by adding appropriate gestures – start walking towards her, then pause, as though you’ve forgotten what you were going to say. Then come out with this line, as though it’s spur of the moment. It looks unplanned, and it’s a heck of a compliment.

2.  Excuse Me – My Friend Wants To Know If You Think I’m Cute

If you’re the kind of guy who can pull off “cute” in a sweet sort of way, this line can be a nice introduction.  Best thing that could happen – maybe you’ll discover she really does think you’re cute!

 

3.  What Does It Feel Like To Be The Most Beautiful Girl In This Room?

What a compliment! Flattery is a proven method with pickup lines, and this one does it in an unexpected way. If you’re in luck, maybe she’ll say she’s happy to talk to the hottest guy in the room.

 

4.  I’m Sorry, Were You Talking To Me? (No.) Well Then, Please Start

This line has a bit of an attitude, which a lot of women find appealing.  It’s got a touch of humor, and it prompts her directly to make the next move. It usually works well, though a shy girl may not follow up on it.

 

5.  I Think We Met Before.

You know that dream you had about the ideal man? I was the guy standing next to him.  Humor is a great opener, and if you can get her laughing right away, you’re off to a good start. The self-deprecating twist on this one makes you seem likable.

 

6.  Hi There – Could You Please Stand Still A Minute So I Can Pick You Up?

OK, it’s corny, but this dating line still works most of the time. It’s up front and honest. After all, with any of these lines she’ll know you’re trying to pick her up, so why not be open about it?

 

7.  Excuse Me, But You Owe Me A Drink. (Why?) Because when I saw you, I dropped mine.

This one works in stages. First it gets her attention, and even makes her a bit worried. What’s he talking about? Then you give her the punch line – a joke and a compliment rolled into one.

 

8.  Giant Polar Bear. (What?) It broke the ice.

  If you’re a natural clown, this one can work like a charm. It’s silly, but women like to laugh. The key is to keep a perfectly straight face for the opener, and save your grin for the second part.

9.  If I Had A Nickel For Each Time I Saw Someone As Gorgeous As You, I’d Have Five Cents.

How sweet is that? It’s a lovely compliment, following the flattery formula. It works best somewhere quiet enough for her to hear. You don’t want to repeat it shouting in her ear.

 

10.  EXCUSE ME, WHAT TIME IS IT? (She tells you.) 9:15? And today’s March 19.

I just wanted to note the exact moment when I first met you. This line may make her groan, but if she grins along with the groan, you can take out your camera to capture the moment.

Unless your Ryan Gosling. Then you can say anything.

How To Be A Charming Natural With Women

sit together cuddleDuring a pua conversation with women your main aim is to be charming and alluring to her, and in my experience the best way to maximize your appeal is to converse with a good assuming manner.

If you are respectful with your beliefs and more so with a lady’s opinions, then you will not lessen your power as a man. On the contrary, you will avoid generating negative thoughts on her side during the interaction.

Pua conversation #1: Converse with humbleness.

I have found that when you wish to offer your opinion on a topic to a woman, rather than being definitive (which could lead to instant opposition), you are far better to frame the pua conversation like it’s the way that you view the world, rather than it being a fact.

So, an example would be if you disagree with a woman’s perspective on a restaurant, instead of simply saying definitively:

 “I hate that restaurant.”

If she loves the restaurant, or even if she likes the food, she is going to feel an instant resistance to what you have said and this will bring up some form of opposition to what you are saying.

A different approach is to take on a more assuming pua conversation manner with something like:

“In my experience the service could be much better.”

This is a much more modest way of putting your point across as you are not being definitive; you are merely speaking with your life experience so far to date. In effect, this humble attitude even conveys that your opinion is able to change dependent on other new future experiences. Perhaps you could even go together, if she insists on showing you, Pua text game works on exactly the same principle.

Here are more examples of some pua conversation humblers:

“I conceive it to be like this … “

 “It appears to me … “

“I should think it so or so for such and such reasons … “

“I imagine it to be so … “

“It is so if I am not mistaken … “

“It appears to me at present … “

“From my frame of reference it seems like this … “

If you state your opinion to a woman in a blunt and forceful way then you run the risk of creating conflict, and possibly even a feeling of defensiveness which is likely to cut short any interaction.

Pua conversation #2: Charm with intelligence.

All of these pua conversation ideas are not limited to only speaking with women, and this one in particular will improve your interactions with all people you meet throughout your day.

One example of this is that during your day to day life you are likely to encounter men and women who have a differing opinion to you on a specific topic.  There may even be times when you know unquestionably that you are correct and instantly feel the need to point out their error and, dependent on how you handle this situation, it could create an issue.

The difficulty can arise that by instantly putting across your opinion you are likely to bring up a direct resistance from the person you are conversing with as, in essence, you are attacking their ego and this is one sure way of igniting their annoyance.

What I have found is that a better way of putting your point across is to begin with circumstances where their point may be correct, but then point out the differences in the scenario that you are discussing.

So a simple example would be:

“I completely agree with you and, in fact, during this set of circumstances I can see how that’s true; however, in this situation, is this not slightly different?”

The real key here is that you are acknowledging that they are in fact correct which validates what they are saying and will make them far more comfortable and at ease. Then you point out a slight difference in the set of circumstances which they may have missed.  This then allows their pride to remain intact whilst they are informed in their error of thinking, this is a very advanced pua training tip.

Pua conversation #3: Listen without analysis.

It has become apparent to me that a pua conversation trap that many men fall into is their lack of ability to be fully present when they are in dialogue with women.

A simple exercise that you can do immediately that will make you more aware of how much focus you have on a woman’s spoken word is to look at what filters you are putting a her words through before you actually hear the words that she is speaking.

So let’s say for example that a woman verbalises 1000 words to you and those words go through your filters of:

“I’m thinking about what to say next.” (20% of my attention)

“I’m looking for something in common.” (15% of my attention)

“I’m anxious that she’s going to get bored and go away.” (15% of my attention)

“Is she giving me signs that she likes me?” (10% of my attention)

All of a sudden 60% of your attention is not on what the woman is saying to you as it is lost through your filters, so you hear a grand total of 400 of her words. How much better do you think you would be able to communicate if you were able to listen to 20% more of her spoken words?!?!

Action point: Write down what filters you have when you are speaking to women and see which ones you can reduce slightly or even remove over time. The key isn’t to get to 100% of her words straight away, but you’ll find that any small increase will help your pua conversation with women.

To learn how to attract more women into your life then come to one of our Pua training weekends.

Written byGary GunnBased in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specialising in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

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