Best Ways To Approach a Girl

approachIf a girl seems unapproachable, it’s probably because she’s worth the trepidation: the momentary smile, the way she absentmindedly curls her hair around one finger while she chats with friends, the shape of her hips in those jeans. No eye-roll worthy pick-up line is going to suffice — you need to bring a pistol to this knife fight.

 

Be Napolean Bone-aparte

Confidence is key. You’ve got a dog in this race, and by dog we mean, your penis. But don’t let the wrong head craft your war plan. Tread lightly, because even if this isn’t your dream girl, treating the situation like it’s no ordinary come-on will mean success will surely be yours.

 

Leave the Cheese at La Fromagerie

And know what the hell a fromagerie is. It might sound crazy, but you need to have a classy conversation with a girl before you ever ask for her number. Knowing a thing or two about something other than football and basketball is the best way to get her interested. Pull out your smart phone and check what has happened in foreign policy that day, and come up with an intelligent and thought-provoking foray into a conversation. Smart guys are sexy, because they’re usually successful, but don’t sound too nerdy, or she might feel like she showed up to class without studying for the test. If you can sit down next to her, pull out your phone and act like you’re reading the news for the first time, and look over to her as though you just had to get her opinion on what happened.

 

Don’t Be a Guy Friend

The inherent danger in the non-sexual convo approach is that you might actually get along. You might unwittingly stumble into Just-a-friend-ville — and that’s no where you want to be. Make sure she knows you desire her: Every woman is flattered by subtle clues you want her. Make constant intense eye contact (win the staring contest!) and remember details about her life to bring up later in the conversation.

 

Be Sexy, Not Overzealous

In between chapters of conversation, inject delicate flirtations such as handing her a drink but holding it a few seconds too long. How you look at her should (and will) tell her everything about what you want, and who you are. Just don’t be creepy, or you’ve just blown your chances. Subtlety is key, after all, you just met, and she has a lot more to lose than you.

 

Set a Deadline on Your Next Chapter

If she’s worth all of this trouble, then you’re likely not the first suitor she’s encountered, and you’re certainly not the last — or even the best. Make sure you don’t end up a crumpled business card in the bottom of her purse by setting the stage for the next meeting. If you talked about wine, tell her you were thinking about going to a local winery or tasting and ask her along. If she mentioned she hates golf tell her you feel you both should give the entire sport a chance at the putting range. Make sure you’re not just asking her out on ‘to dinner,’ and she’s way more likely to be intrigued.

 

3 NEW Ways to Get a Girl’s Number

If you never knew the old ways to get a girl’s phone number, it’s a good thing. Chances are she’s heard them before. Try a few new plays in an age-old game.

 

hangman love

1. Show Her You’re Hung

Start a game of Hangman on a napkin or a piece of notebook paper, except where the letters should be, you leave spaces in a 3-3-4 configuration: _ _ _   _ _ _   _ _ _ _ (as in spaces for the seven digits of your phone number). Casually mention there’s a numeral in the solution. If she starts whining about the added difficulty in that, be thankful she’s smart enough to realize that there is added difficulty in that. Tell her you’ll make up for it by giving the ‘hangman’ eyes, a nose, a mouth, and fingers. By this point you should have her fascinated, laughing, and focused on playing a game with you. She may guess right away that the solution is your phone number. At that point, you say “Oh you win!” Write in your phone number, quickly start a new seven-digit hangman, and say “OK it’s your turn!” ‘Hung’ jokes are optional.

 kickball team

2. Start a Co-ed Team

This approach obviously requires a lot more work (or at least planning) but the payoff is that you can use it to gather many girls’ phone numbers over the course of a few months. Approach a girl anywhere — refreshingly, this one doesn’t have to happen in a bar. Having researched local team sport activities such as soccer, billiards, or softball, ask her if she participates in the one you’ve Googled. If you like to ride, for example, ask her if she has a bike. If she says yes, tell her you’re recruiting for a new group bicycle ride from [point A] to [point B] and you need riders to join in. (Safety in numbers, etc.) Tell her you’ll call her with the details. Make sure you tell her if she has any friends, to bring them along, and get their numbers if she does.

 

box of puppies

3. Get a Charity Date

Just about any charity needs volunteers for events. Find the one that needs a suitable amount of help for an upcoming event. Try for one with “aww factor” such as The Finding Homes for Boxes and Boxes of Puppies Foundation charity ball, and get to work. First, phone them up and see if they need two volunteers for a few hours. Say you heard about it through a friend, and can’t really afford to attend, but would like to help. Over the next few days approach girls and ask if they would be interested in helping you. Or, at the very least, ask if you can text them a link to the event in case they know anyone who would.

 

How To Make A Woman Want You

woman seducingIf the animal instinct has already set in and your eye contact tells you there’s a chance she wants you, your next move is to strategize your attack. It’s also time to play a little offensive defense: as successful as your fight plan may be, you’re going to have to pull off a few stealth moves that have her helping in her own defeat.

 

Keep the Upper Hand

If she’s a seven, you need to be an 8.5. If she’s better looking, make sure you come off as more successful. If she’s a stellar athlete, or a dancer, make sure she knows you’re renowned in your particular section of the business world. Everyone always wants to ‘date up,’ make sure she knows you’re a challenge for her.

 

Thwart Biology

Taller men are biologically more appealing to women, but if you don’t happen to have a height advantage, then take advantage of your other big muscle: your brain. Always have good posture, a classy walk, and deliberate movements. Always have unwavering eye contact, remain unaffected by trivial events, and be witty and intelligent. All of these qualities are surprisingly attractive to women, so what you lack in brawn, you can make up for in brainpower.

 

Be Unavailable

No matter how sophisticated she is, having to pursue you will drive her crazy (in a good way). Women are used to being pursued, not the other way around, so making her work for her time with you will always leave her wanting more. She will never get bored with the chase because it keeps her too busy. Don’t be an absentee lover, however. If she’s highly desirable, there inevitably will be more suitors out there, and you don’t want to lose your edge on the competition.

 

Stay Out of the Friend Zone

Make it clear that the only acceptable relationship for the two of you is a romantic one, just don’t be crass about it. You want to be friends of course, but you’re looking for a seriously intense romance, too. Make that proposition appealing, or you’re going to end up solidly in the dreaded ‘friend zone,’ which is incredibly hard to come back from.

 

Be the Good Guy

At the end of the day, she still wants you to take care of her. You sometimes want to seem aloof in your relationship, but if she thinks you don’t care if she sees other guys, she probably will. You still have to be protective: be her hero. Don’t forget it’s still pretty fair to call dating a ‘game.’ Too much bluffing without a few genuinely good hands will leave you bust.

 

5 Tips for Meeting Someone at the Gym

flirting at the gymThe gym can be one of the best places to meet someone: not only are you sure they care about their appearance and health as much as you do, but workout gears usually ensures you get a little sneak peek at the physical goods before you get too far down the dating road. Tread lightly, however. Some gym people are strictly there for a work out.

 

Don’t be ‘That Guy’

The worst guy at the gym is the one who’s there to pick up women. Although there are plenty of girls who want to be picked up while working out, it’s a mistake to assume most women want to be hit on in that situation. There’s a certain vulnerability to huffing through an hour treadmill jog in tight and revealing spandex, sans make-up, so don’t go on a balls out attack or you’ll only get defense in return.

 

Work on Your Rep[s]

Make sure you’re a healthy presence in the gym. If you’re going to offer to ‘spot’ someone on the bench press, you need to be two things: obviously physically fit enough to do so, and trusted by the gym staff and other gym-users. The last thing you want is for her to notice nervous glances or an eye roll from other gym folk when you offer to help.

 

Make Friends

One of the best ice breakers is the simple act of knowing someone’s name or even occupation before you meet them. It shows that you liked them enough to invest the time in asking about them. Just don’t get too stalker-y by pumping everyone in the gym for information or you’ll really creep them out. Becoming friends with the gym staff and patrons will help in your future conquests.

 

Practice Good Hygiene

If that workout god or goddess on whom you have had your eye sees you walk away from a machine without wiping it down, you’re sunk. Still worse, the last thing you want is the reputation for being ‘that smelly guy.’ Sweating at the gym is attractive; being stinky, well, just stinks.

 

Get Game

“‘Can You Spot Me?’ ‘Do You Know How This Machine Works?’ and ‘I Like Your Outfit’” are all legitimate ice breakers, but don’t rely on them. The best first impressions will happen naturally, and if she’s not interested in meeting people at the gym, the MP3 player likely won’t come off the whole time, so take the hint and don’t force it.

 

5 Oufits to Wear to Catch Her Attention

Most guys don’t care that much about fashion, and most women forgive them for this, but a fashionably-challenged guy just isn’t attractive. There a few tips you can follow to keep your wardrobe to a minimum, with little fuss or cost. Get a few staple pieces and replenish them as necessary. If you’re still experiencing a sartorial conundrum, or you care at all how you look, spend a few minutes with a good men’s fashion magazine. Flip through the pages and absorb even a tenth of the concepts espoused, and you’ll automatically be more in tune to what’s appealing to women.

mens outfits

Skinnier Jeans

It’s 2014, and unfortunately for everything in your closet, styles have changed drastically in the last few years. Loose or “relaxed” fit now looks sloppy. No one’s saying it should look like you borrowed your girlfriend’s jeggings, but jeans need to be slim cut, no matter how big you are.

Flat-Front Fitted Pants

That’s right, even your work pants should be slim fit. Make sure they aren’t too tight or too short. Pleated front pants should be cut up and used to wax your car. If you’re new to fashion, white pants are generally only to be worn by Colonel Sanders, and while you’re at it, steer clear of bright colors and pastels as well. Tailored-looking clothing tells a woman you care (at least a tiny bit) about looking good.

Fitted Collared Shirts

Get at least one fitted blue collared shirt and a black one. They can be worn with jeans and still tell a woman you have a job. These will be your go-to shirts for most occasions. Stay away from obnoxious patterns and colors as, too often, they don’t make you stand out to women, they make you look silly.

V-neck Sweater

Plain V-necks look slightly preppy and nerdy-cute, two attributes that signal to women you’ve struck a comfortable balance between comfort and style. Save for sentimental sweats, give all your baggy workout clothes to charity, lest you be tempted to wear them out in public.

Actual Shoes

No one’s saying you can’t rock the Converse and suit look. It’s absolutely acceptable, especially if you can wear it to work. However, sneakers are unacceptable for dinner or a club night. In fact, it can be downright insulting to a woman if you show up for a date in dingy running shoes. A good rule of thumb is, if you’re going out after dark, dress as if you’re on trial for your life. Look respectable but not garish. You are, in fact, being judged by a jury of your peers.

mens outfits

How to Approach Women Without Fear

3 Ways To Exude Confidence to Women

fancy couple dancing dip

WRITTEN BY GARY GUNN MARCH 21, 2014

With pua inner game we are really entering into the realm of psychology, so how can you truly feel better about yourself.  Pua inner game is not about finding a short term fix either, like when you learn a new technique that gives you confidence with women for short periods of time for example.

I mean peeling back the layers of insecurity and false bravado that you have subconsciously learned, and really and truly feeling at one with yourself.  To have the ability to walk up to women and exude such a confidence that you do not need pua techniques, pua routines or really any form of strategy.

From my experience of working in the pua industry, I have realised that one of the major ways to feel more comfortable with yourself is to work towards attaining certain virtues that you wish to possess; it is these qualities that in the end will make you who you are as a man.

I shall give some examples now of virtues which if you possessed would make you far more alluring to women:

Pua inner game virtue #1: Temperance to not react.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. Benjamin Franklin

The basis of having this desirable quality is that you do not let outside circumstances influence your inner core, so how you feel about yourself.

This virtue is quite possibly the most attractive quality in a man. When you meet women and circumstances arise that would normally trigger an emotional reaction in you; instead if you strive to achieve temperance, namely present yourself as calm and collected and deal with the issue without emotional attachment, then women will instantly be drawn to you, this is far stronger than any pua conversation.

Temperance sub-communicates so many attractive qualities to women. Indeed you’ll find that if you are able to deal with any emotional drama without becoming involved, it will also stand you in healthy emotional grounding in all areas of your life and not solely in meeting women.

Pua inner game virtue #2: Order for clarity.

In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision. Dalai Lama

The real meaning of this virtue is to have your life organised and for every aspect of your life to have its own time to flourish.  This involves strategic planning so that you can plan your week to achieve the maximum benefit from the time that you have.

With pua training, the first step to achieving more order in your life is to decide how you would like to shape your future, so a few examples would be:

What kind of work would you like to do?

Where would you like to live?

Where would you like to travel?

How much time would you like to give to exercise?

Once you have set yourself specific goals of what you would like to achieve you can then look at the steps involved and plan your days, weeks, and months accordingly.

Adopting this pua inner game outlook will be highly alluring to women. The fact that you are willing to set yourself a goal with a strict time limit (this helps you achieve your goal), conveys so many positive attributes about yourself as a man, and you’ll find that during natural conversation women will be intrigued with your self-discipline.

Pua inner game virtue #3: Silence as authority.

Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.” Leonardo da Vinci

Right now in this moment if you were going to speak to a lady who you deem attractive, is your pua inner game strong enough that you are comfortable with a silence during the conversation, or even a prolonged silence between words?

To put this into perspective, if you listen to the best story tellers of modern society you will notice the amount of pauses they have during their stories.  These pauses convey control, knowledge and confidence.  The story teller does not feel the need to simply bellow out the information; instead they are cool, calm and collected. They know they have value and, as such, recognise silence as the positive feature that it is.

Pua inner game action point: You can use silence as a way of initially finding out how strong your inner game is when you are talking to women. Simply try to pause between conversation threads or even emphasise certain words and see how confident you really feel.

If you want to attract more women into your life the come to one of our Pua training bootcamps.

Written byGary Gunn
Based in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specialising in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

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