7 Worst Online Dating Profile Photos

Your profile photo is often the first impression you have on people. This element is compounded by the advent of superficial platforms so you need to stay on your toes to make sure your dating game isn’t totally lost by one bad photo.

 

kurt cobainThe Someone Else

If your main profile photo is of someone else, you are obviously at odds with your appearance, or feel the need to make a statement with your photo, because you doubt anyone will get to know you long enough to naturally discover what you like. That, or you are so pretentious, you feel the need to shove your political, religious or musical tastes down anyone’s throat — even complete strangers on the internet.

 

lapdanceYou, With a Stripper

A photo taken by a bro on the sly while you get a lap dance, you with a Playmate-esque shotgirl  on each arm, or you with several girls in bikinis on a boat says one thing: You require sex (with anyone) and the validation it brings to your existence, and want anyone to know it. Basically, you’re a dick.

 

 

dad and kid with catYour Cat and/or Child

This tear-jerker type pic says your identity is pretty much consumed with the fact that you have a kid or a pet, because your life pretty much is consumed with the fact that you have a kid or a pet. You want the whole universe to see the pictures of your kid and say “Awww. You feed something regularly!” Or, you want the whole universe to see the pictures of your pet and say “Awww. You feed something regularly!” Either way, the ‘likes’ you get from these photos are out of pity.

 

double fisting drinksThe Doublefist

If you are featured in a profile photo with a drink in each hand, swigging Jager straight out of the bottle, slamming down chunks of a vodka-infused watermelon, or performing any other drinking feat for that matter, it tells the world you have a drinking problem — and will have fun at all costs. Those costs include, but are not limited to: your career, your education, and healthy relationships with other humans. This class of photos also proves you don’t care what anyone thinks about you professionally, and don’t plan on starting anytime soon.

 

 

 

kim k kidBaby You

You’re old, and it’s hilarious to see what you looked like sooo looong ago! In fact, you’re so old, people look at the photo and ask: “Is that you??”

 

 

 

 

 

over exposed filterThe Overexposed, Black and White, Out of Focus, Ethereal Art Photo

We all took a Photography 101 class, but your profile photos shouldn’t read like your freshman year syllabi. The only thing these photos say about you is that you are not attractive enough in person to bear the thought of an unadulterated photo. On that note, delete those photos of Alexander Hamilton, Euclid and any work of Gustav Klimt, and replace it with an simple sign that says: “I like stuff.”

 

 

 

tandem skydiveThe Showoff

The only thing vainer than a photo of you leaning on your hot sports car is one of you on top of a mountain. Or skydiving. Or skydiving in your sports car. The point of a profile is not to make people jealous. It’s to show who you are. If your life is an amalgamation of thrill-seeking narcissism because you crave validation from your peers, by all means post that photo of you hot air ballooning with Richard Branson and Michael Jackson’s ghost. We will all be impressed.

Best Summer First Date Ideas

First dates are tricky, because you’re not only setting the stage for your first encounter, you’re telling your date a lot about yourself. Dinner and a movie is an old favorite, but it doesn’t show much creativity. An impressive first date idea puts you in control of the next move, because it leaves them wanting more.

 

1. Take a Winery Tourwine tasting

If you’re fortunate enough to live near a winery, book a car service to pick you and your date up, and take you back home. A quick web search can reveal many discount tour packages, and the same goes for the car service. Driving after sampling a few glasses of the vino is a big no-no, but paying for a car service shows you are both responsible and successful.

 

2. BYOB Painting Class

Hour or two hour-long classes are offered in almost every region of the country these days, and if one doesn’t exist in your area, call ahead and ask the instructor if there’s an adults-only art class where they wouldn’t mind you bringing a bottle or two. If the instructor gives you the green light, make sure you bring enough inexpensive bottles and plastic flutes for the whole class, and the instructor, to have a glass.

 

camping fire3. Go Camping

Book a campsite for a favorable time of year in advance and then invite your crush along. This one requires a bit of advance planning, however. Make sure the campsite offers amenities such as a shower and possibly even electricity. Bring along everything for a romantic rustic dinner and an evening fire. Mostly importantly: bring two tents and two sleeping bags. Presuming they’re going to sleep in your tent is rude enough to be a deal breaker.

 

4. Get Tickets for a Sporting Event

This idea works for both genders, even girls who aren’t sports fans. A girl who volunteers to get tickets to a sporting event shows she can be one of the guys. Both girls and guys will want to choose a sport such as hockey, basketball, or soccer, though. If the sparks aren’t there after 90 minutes with someone, the public setting gives you a perfect opportunity to cut and run.

 

5. Cooking Class

Men who can cook are an instant turn on, and the way to a man’s heart often really is through his stomach. Food, which ignites all of one’s senses, can always be a sexy cooking couple experience, so turn up the flames with a cooking class taught by a professional. Surf the Web for a culinary school or community college which offers a nighttime course without too much commitment.  If the date doesn’t whet your appetite by the end of the night, at least you learned a thing or two about cooking, and for that, your own appetite will thank you.

 

Tips For Meeting His Parents

meeting her parentsAs much as he has to impress your parents, you need to impress his. His mother could be even more protective of her little boy as your father is of you, so bear in mind that he’s not the only one who has to break out the top hat and cane for a little obligatory performance. Keep a few major points in mind and you’re sure to leave them applauding.

 

Bring a Gift

A gift will always be appreciated. It shows you made the effort to fit into their home as a member of the family. Make sure it will be a welcome gift, though. His parents could be non-drinkers, or keep Kosher, so discuss the appropriateness of the gift with your guy in advance.

 

Don’t be a ‘Gold-Digger’

If you’re unemployed and you know you’re going to meet them in a matter of months, start doing some volunteer work in your city. The question “what do you do?” will inevitably come up. If you’re between jobs, you can at least say you’re doing some pro bono work with a youth group. And who knows, you might like the work and it could actually lead to a real job.

 

Dress Appropriately

Extreme conservatism in dress is your only option for meeting a guy’s parents. Don’t wear a lot of makeup, a skirt that falls far above the knee, or stripper pumps. A sequin halter top, Daisy Duke cut-offs and Lucite heels tell his parents one thing: their son is dating a slut.

meeting the parents what to wear

Don’t Freak Out

Be prepared if you walk in the door and his family is all over you like a pack of wolves on a wounded rabbit. Don’t get overwhelmed and become emotional: nothing looks worse than not being strong enough to hold your own. Act naturally, stay calm, and roll with the punches.

 

Bow Out Gracefully

If the situation is really stressful, make an appropriately speedy exit. Have one drink, if necessary. Do not, however, get drunk. Don’t be rude and walk out in the middle of dinner, but don’t stay too long at the party, running the risk of having one too many drinks, saying something outrageous, and ruining all your hard work.

 

5 Tips for Dating a Single Mom

woman kissing childFinding out a woman who has been the subject of your affection is a mom can be daunting if not overwhelming. A lot of guys experience a flight response. But likely the information will leave a guy with a desire to give it a try, however, it will also leave you with a lot of questions. Once you’ve decided to embark on this new journey with her and a kid, you’ll have a little bit of homework.

1:Do the Research
Go online and find the answers to all of those unusual questions that will inevitably pop up — no matter how guilty they make you feel. Questions about new situations are always natural, so embrace the truth. Will sex be better, worse, or more often unavailable? Will I be expected to change certain of my bad habits because I might be a bad influence on children? Can I?

2:Curb Your Stress
She is going to pick up on how you’re dealing with the fact that she has kids. If you want it to be ‘no big deal,’ then make sure it isn’t. Feigning comfort with the situation won’t fly, so ensure you spend some time settling the details in your head before you interact with her again. Remind yourself that whatever you think your day-to-day problems are, she likely has more important ones to consider.

3:Meet the Kids
Be careful about how you introduce yourself once the big day of your first meeting approaches. Showing up with toys or candy might seem disingenuous or give the appearance of trying too hard. Don’t forget that, especially with older kids, in their minds, you are trying to replacing their father — at least for their mother.

4:Embrace the Benefits
A single mom has obviously been through a challenging relationship before, and has probably learned a thing or two about traversing the male-female courting ritual. She might be less likely to start a spat over something petty, thus avoiding a three day argument. Or you may find that you couldn’t fathom getting jealous over her flirting shamelessly in a bar with other guys. Whatever the benefit to her experience in relationships is, take it to heart. Learn from her, and make sure she knows you appreciate those qualities.

5:Get Ready for Change
Whether you want to admit it or not, getting intimate with a single mom is going to affect your groove. Instant Kids means you’re going to have to end a night or two each week early because the sitter needs to leave. You’ll find yourself locking up liquor, evidence of smoking and dirty movies. At least once in a while, you’re going to have to change that spontaneous Vegas getaway to a well-planned weekend at Disney. The changes don’t have to be daunting, however. The bachelor life was never meant to last forever. So embrace the newfound inspiration to see life through a child’s — you might find you feel like a kid again.

 single mom meme

5 Oufits to Wear to Catch Her Attention

Most guys don’t care that much about fashion, and most women forgive them for this, but a fashionably-challenged guy just isn’t attractive. There a few tips you can follow to keep your wardrobe to a minimum, with little fuss or cost. Get a few staple pieces and replenish them as necessary. If you’re still experiencing a sartorial conundrum, or you care at all how you look, spend a few minutes with a good men’s fashion magazine. Flip through the pages and absorb even a tenth of the concepts espoused, and you’ll automatically be more in tune to what’s appealing to women.

mens outfits

Skinnier Jeans

It’s 2014, and unfortunately for everything in your closet, styles have changed drastically in the last few years. Loose or “relaxed” fit now looks sloppy. No one’s saying it should look like you borrowed your girlfriend’s jeggings, but jeans need to be slim cut, no matter how big you are.

Flat-Front Fitted Pants

That’s right, even your work pants should be slim fit. Make sure they aren’t too tight or too short. Pleated front pants should be cut up and used to wax your car. If you’re new to fashion, white pants are generally only to be worn by Colonel Sanders, and while you’re at it, steer clear of bright colors and pastels as well. Tailored-looking clothing tells a woman you care (at least a tiny bit) about looking good.

Fitted Collared Shirts

Get at least one fitted blue collared shirt and a black one. They can be worn with jeans and still tell a woman you have a job. These will be your go-to shirts for most occasions. Stay away from obnoxious patterns and colors as, too often, they don’t make you stand out to women, they make you look silly.

V-neck Sweater

Plain V-necks look slightly preppy and nerdy-cute, two attributes that signal to women you’ve struck a comfortable balance between comfort and style. Save for sentimental sweats, give all your baggy workout clothes to charity, lest you be tempted to wear them out in public.

Actual Shoes

No one’s saying you can’t rock the Converse and suit look. It’s absolutely acceptable, especially if you can wear it to work. However, sneakers are unacceptable for dinner or a club night. In fact, it can be downright insulting to a woman if you show up for a date in dingy running shoes. A good rule of thumb is, if you’re going out after dark, dress as if you’re on trial for your life. Look respectable but not garish. You are, in fact, being judged by a jury of your peers.

mens outfits

Why You Might Be Undateable

Do you feel like you’ll never find a guy again? Are you sick of the whole dating scene, and depressed with the thought that there’s nobody out there for you? If you feel like you’re stuck in an undateable state, here are a few clues to what may really be going on. why i'm still single

1) You’re still stuck on the wrong guy. So you had a wonderful relationship, and thought he was the love of your life. The problem is that it’s over. He’s gone. The better a relationship was, the harder it can be to get over it. Having your heart broken can be brutal, and it takes time to heal. It hurts!

If you’re still staring at your cell phone hoping your ex will have a change of heart and call you, or you casually drive by his apartment or office hoping to spot him, then you’re still stuck. Until you get yourself unstuck, you won’t be in the right space to meet someone new. Letting go of a past relationship can be tough, but that’s exactly what you’ve got to do to start dating successfully again.

A good place to begin is being nice to yourself. Don’t berate yourself and tell yourself what a horrid person you must be for him to dump you. Instead, eat right, pamper yourself with a facial and mani-pedi, or start yoga or kickboxing classes. Feeling healthy and looking great brings out the strong, sexy woman you really are. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, and feeling good about yourself is an attraction factor.

2) You’re not being honest. You may be lying to yourself about what you really want. You think you want somebody highly successful, but you really want someone who spends more quality time with you than all the workaholics you meet.

You may be lying to others, too. Does your profile have a photoshopped pic from 8 years ago? Do you claim to love long walks with his dog, even though Brutus has already bitten you twice and you’re terrified? It’s trite but true – honesty really is the best policy when you’re meeting someone and starting a relationship.

relationship status multiple choice checklist3) You’re not looking in the right places. Face it – you’re probably not going to meet the man of your dreams at the grocery store. Sure, it happened once to a sister of a friend of somebody your cousin used to know, but the odds are right up there with winning the lottery.

If you want to meet men today, you need to actively get out there – both online and offline. Check out a site! Millions of single guys use these sites when looking for a new relationship. If you’re not there, then you’re missing out on one of the greatest dating avenues available.

This is relatively low pressure, since you just join local groups that appeal to your interests – wine tasting, hiking, vegan cooking or harmonica playing. If you find a group in your area with similar interests, it’s an excellent way to meet men. At least you know you both like the harmonica, right?

The Text Game – 5 Messages She Wants to Read

happy girl textThe first point to clarify when you are texting women is that it’s not about you; it is about compelling a girl’s emotional response system when she reads your message. Indeed, if she feels no emotional response then your text message has failed to serve your purpose.

Remember, the desired outcome of sending text messages is to meet up with the girl, so try and keep this in mind. We can now focus on a few different ways to spark emotions in the girl when she reads your messages that will compel her to want to meet up with you again.

So your thought process before hitting the send button should always be:

“Will this make her more or less likely to meet up with me?”

If the answer is less likely then delete the text and start again!  So here are my top 5 pua text game strategies:

Text Game #1: Use mystery to ignite her passion.

“Love is three quarters curiosity.” Giacomo Casanova

The key to romancing women is to let them create an image of you in their head, without giving away every single facet of your personality.

So when you are learning how to text women try to maintain the mystery. Do not give detailed responses to any questions, instead be vague and let the girl work out what you mean. Try and limit the length of text messages so that hers are longer than yours, this subtly conveys that she is trying harder than you to keep the messages going.

The idea of using mystery will keep women coming back to find out more about you, and it’s this curiosity that will tempt them to meet up with you again.

Text Game #2: Do not rise to her provocative challenges.

So you receive a text message that says,

“Fun evening, although a few bits were slightly odd.”

This is sure to spark an emotional response from you, especially if you like the girl and want to see her again. The key to remember here is, no matter what emotional reaction you are having in this moment, you ignore her text and bat it straight back to her with something like:

“That’s funny because I noticed one good thing and one bad thing about you too.”

Either she will text back immediately and ask what these are and you can then use this mystery to entice her to buy you a drink to find out or (and these are my favourite kinds of texts) she will ignore your text and bat something else back …. LET THE FLIRTING BEGIN!

The point here is that you can ignore their comment because you are comfortable with who you are and don’t need to be validated by her. This will be sub-communicated when you ignore her attempt at gaining an emotional response from you, this is exactly the same when you are learning real life pua training strategies.

Text game #3: Converse to heighten her arousal.

If a girl has asked you a question and your response is going to be a boring reply, then simply ignore the question and move onto a new topic.

There is a skill in controlling the frame of a conversation to keep it fun and adventurous; you do not want to get trapped into mundane conversations that lead nowhere – remember you aim is to refine how to get another date.

Therefore do not feel the need to reply to every question that she asks you.  Remember your sole aim is for the girl again and boring texts will kill your opportunity.  The fact that you are avoiding answering some of her questions will also spark more curiosity and demonstrate that you are not afraid to take the lead.

Text Game #4: Leave her lusting for more.

Do not ask a girl a question in every text message that you send. By simply replying to a message and not always asking her anything in return conveys that you are not desperate to hear back from her from her. This is highly attractive.

So many guys feel like they have to ask a girl questions to ensure the continuation of a texting conversation, however all this does is kill they mystery and inevitably the texts will become boring.

So remember mix your text messages up, ask some questions but also don’t forget the power of simply replying to her messages without asking her anything.  This will also be a good indicator of you how much she likes you because if she reignites the texting then you can be sure that organising a date will be fairly straight forward.  This is exactly the same as during pua bootcamps you are taught not to always reignite the conversation and to be comfortable with silence.

Text Game #5: Give her the sensation of being led.

So when you want to organise another date with a girl from a text message DO NOT SEND:

“So when are you next free so I can take you out?”

THAT IS SHOCKING!!

Instead, lead the girl and say “I’m going to …. you should come along”.  You’ll find that this automatically takes the strain off her mind that it’s a formal date like a dinner or something else which may make her feel uncomfortable, and also serves to make the date far more fun.

Remember you need to lead the interaction and the date without coming across as too try hard!!  For more information visit our pua training page.

Written byGary GunnBased in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specialising in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

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5 Things You Never Say or Do In The First Message (guy version)

appalling message
Margaret Thatcher once said, “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.” The following is a list of things that you should never ask (or say to) a woman, no matter how badly you want it “done”.

Ex-Girlfriend Mentions
Whenever guys talk about their ex-girlfriends, it’s never a good thing. It’s likely that your male friends don’t want to hear about her, not to mention a girl you’ve just started talking to.

Sex Talk
Some girls like sexting and writing dirty messages while others don’t. A good rule of thumb is to get to know the girl first before you start getting hot and heavy with the private messages.

Nude Selfies
Remember “Carlos Danger”? That guy is the poster child for why you should wait before sending nude photos of yourself to any girl. Not only did it cost him his political career, but those nude selfies eventually ended up all over the internet.

Sports Talk
Even if you think the girl is into sports, you might want to wait a while before you start making it the subject of your messages. Otherwise, you’re likely to come off sounding like that couch potato that does nothing but eat and drink beer on Sundays. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but you might want to wait a while before you show her your lazy, sports fanatic side.

Crude Language
If you use a lot of bad words while talking to someone you hardly know, they might start thinking that you have a poor command of the English language. Always be yourself, but if you tend to use a lot of bad words, cut it back.

10 Signs You’re In The Friendzone

10 Signs you're in the friendzone

5 Things You Never Say or Do In The First Message (girl version)

omg sign
Let’s face it, compared to men, women usually have better etiquette. Especially when it comes to making first impressions. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t capable of committing the same kind of social faux pas that are usually reserved for horny guys looking to score. That’s why we’ve come up with this short list of things you want to stay away from during your first communications with any guy.

Nude Pics
Your first message can be sexy or even provocative, but a nude pic is far too forward. Don’t get ahead of yourself.

Drama/Complaints
Who wants to hear about your drama during the first date, not to mention the first contact? Keep the drama for your Mama.

Ex-Boyfriend Mentions
Whether it’s someone you could start dating eventually or even just a friend, the last thing a guy wants to hear about is an ex-boyfriend. Save those heartbreak stories for your girlfriends.

Party Pics
Were you drunk during a Halloween party? Or, maybe you were just passed out while a friend took pictures of you in a sexy outfit. Either way, chances are that the pictures aren’t flattering. Keep them off the web and away from private messages.

Bragging
Did you get a new piece of bling or a new BMW? Chances are that nobody else wants to hear about it. Have some humility and act like you’ve been there before. There’s nothing worse than a sore winner.