How To Handle An Office Fling

office flingBeen feeling wildly attracted to a co-worker who gets cow eyed and giggly everytime he or she walks into the room? What should you do? Well the answer is simple: YOU DO NOTHING! Flings happen all the time and even more in the office. It would be best if you were to play out all your dreams and fantasies in your head, exhausting every romantic notion you feel creeping into your consciousness. Chances are that the butterflies will come and go keep in mind butterflies, both real and metaphorical, have a short lifespan.

How-To

1. Stay Professional

You have to stay professional in the workplace. If you start behaving in an unprofessional way, then things can get very bad very quickly. By acting professional, however, you xan keep things in perspective…and make sure you keep your job.

2. Don’t Let Them Walk Over You

Feelings can be taken advantage by some people because of their willingness. It can be tempting to invite your fling for lunch or some coffee, but that is human nature. However your crush might not necessarily feel the same way and might be willing to reap the benefits of the nice gestures you give them.

3. Look The Right Way

Not only should you try to avoid staring all googly eyed at your fling while a work, it is also unprofessional to stare like that. Besides, moony stares can reveal your feelings quicker than anything else.

4. Keep Up With Reality

It is not uncommon at all for someone to begin to fantasize or even dream about their office flame. When spending so much time at work, it is hard not to confuse those fantasies with reality, It is important to keep your feet grounded;moreover; keep your fantasy life completely separate from your work life.

5. Be Realistic

Being realistic to the end is another must. Does your company frown upon dating within the office? Does your fling feel the same way about you; as you do with them? Dont let you common sense be blurred by your feelings; stay leveled headed and keep everything within a realistic perspective

6. Keep Cool

Always keep your cool when possible. Don’t get giggly, don’t let your crush have that effect over you. If needed, just pretend that your fling isn’t there at all, even more so if you need to keep it at a professional level.

7. Weigh the Consequences

If this is what you think you want from your crush; a relationship, you need to being to think about the consequences. What happens if dont work out? Will this affect your job? You also need to consider how the working conditions will be during and after the relationship. If there are more cons than pros, again keep your fantasy life completely separate from your working life. At the end most office romances do work, but when they don’t it can get a bit awkward.

Best Ways To Approach a Girl

approachIf a girl seems unapproachable, it’s probably because she’s worth the trepidation: the momentary smile, the way she absentmindedly curls her hair around one finger while she chats with friends, the shape of her hips in those jeans. No eye-roll worthy pick-up line is going to suffice — you need to bring a pistol to this knife fight.

 

Be Napolean Bone-aparte

Confidence is key. You’ve got a dog in this race, and by dog we mean, your penis. But don’t let the wrong head craft your war plan. Tread lightly, because even if this isn’t your dream girl, treating the situation like it’s no ordinary come-on will mean success will surely be yours.

 

Leave the Cheese at La Fromagerie

And know what the hell a fromagerie is. It might sound crazy, but you need to have a classy conversation with a girl before you ever ask for her number. Knowing a thing or two about something other than football and basketball is the best way to get her interested. Pull out your smart phone and check what has happened in foreign policy that day, and come up with an intelligent and thought-provoking foray into a conversation. Smart guys are sexy, because they’re usually successful, but don’t sound too nerdy, or she might feel like she showed up to class without studying for the test. If you can sit down next to her, pull out your phone and act like you’re reading the news for the first time, and look over to her as though you just had to get her opinion on what happened.

 

Don’t Be a Guy Friend

The inherent danger in the non-sexual convo approach is that you might actually get along. You might unwittingly stumble into Just-a-friend-ville — and that’s no where you want to be. Make sure she knows you desire her: Every woman is flattered by subtle clues you want her. Make constant intense eye contact (win the staring contest!) and remember details about her life to bring up later in the conversation.

 

Be Sexy, Not Overzealous

In between chapters of conversation, inject delicate flirtations such as handing her a drink but holding it a few seconds too long. How you look at her should (and will) tell her everything about what you want, and who you are. Just don’t be creepy, or you’ve just blown your chances. Subtlety is key, after all, you just met, and she has a lot more to lose than you.

 

Set a Deadline on Your Next Chapter

If she’s worth all of this trouble, then you’re likely not the first suitor she’s encountered, and you’re certainly not the last — or even the best. Make sure you don’t end up a crumpled business card in the bottom of her purse by setting the stage for the next meeting. If you talked about wine, tell her you were thinking about going to a local winery or tasting and ask her along. If she mentioned she hates golf tell her you feel you both should give the entire sport a chance at the putting range. Make sure you’re not just asking her out on ‘to dinner,’ and she’s way more likely to be intrigued.

 

5 Topics to Impress Her on a First Date

scarlett johannson

It’s often hard to come up with stuff to talk about on a first date. You don’t want to come off as too self-centered by telling her your whole life story, yet you are putting on a presentation in an attempt to sell her on why you’re the best choice for her. Subtly curate your conversation and, if all else goes well, you should be well on your way to that all-important second date. Here are 5 topics to impress her on a first date.

 

Your Charity Work

If you don’t do any charity work, then start. Even if you simply help update the Facebook page for your local animal shelter, find a few hours each month to devote to being the good guy. Even if you’re doing it just to appeal to girls, a lot of charitable organizations need all the help they can get, and who knows, you might even start to like helping others.

 

Your Investment Portfolio

This topic is tricky. Gordon Gekko’s “greed is good” mentality might work in the boardroom, but it can easily appear garish on a first date. The trick is to touch on the idea that you have several successful investments without making it seem as though you are trying to impress her with your overwhelming wealth. The best method is to pick one humble element of how you arrived at your riches, and focus on that. “It’s crazy! I had to save up like four paychecks for some Google stock in college…”

 

boys who play guitarYour Super Sexy Hobby

Danger sports such as rock climbing or kite surfing are impressive because they show that you’re bold, healthy, and full of adrenaline. Women are hard-wired to be attracted to an abundance of energy coupled with a lack of fear — signs you’re a good hunter and protector.

 

abs vs nerdYour Expertise

Intelligence is sexy, and it’s impressive to be well-versed on a topic such as 18th Century literature, string theory, classic cars, or Reagan-era politics. Just be extra careful not to come off as superior, or a pedant. She’s only going to be impressed with your knowledge on a certain topic if you possess more of it than she does, but she’s going to be largely turned off if you quiz her or make her feel stupid.

 

How Much You Love Your Family

Women are nesters by nature. They will always be impressed by how you visit your elderly grandmother every Tuesday no matter how busy you are, how you still mow your mother’s lawn every week even though she insists on paying someone to do it, or how you surprised your little sister with a trip to the Galapagos to learn about Darwin. It not only says you’re kind and empathetic, but showing her that you are focused on family tells her you’ll be good mating material.

 

Best Summer First Date Ideas

First dates are tricky, because you’re not only setting the stage for your first encounter, you’re telling your date a lot about yourself. Dinner and a movie is an old favorite, but it doesn’t show much creativity. An impressive first date idea puts you in control of the next move, because it leaves them wanting more.

 

1. Take a Winery Tourwine tasting

If you’re fortunate enough to live near a winery, book a car service to pick you and your date up, and take you back home. A quick web search can reveal many discount tour packages, and the same goes for the car service. Driving after sampling a few glasses of the vino is a big no-no, but paying for a car service shows you are both responsible and successful.

 

2. BYOB Painting Class

Hour or two hour-long classes are offered in almost every region of the country these days, and if one doesn’t exist in your area, call ahead and ask the instructor if there’s an adults-only art class where they wouldn’t mind you bringing a bottle or two. If the instructor gives you the green light, make sure you bring enough inexpensive bottles and plastic flutes for the whole class, and the instructor, to have a glass.

 

camping fire3. Go Camping

Book a campsite for a favorable time of year in advance and then invite your crush along. This one requires a bit of advance planning, however. Make sure the campsite offers amenities such as a shower and possibly even electricity. Bring along everything for a romantic rustic dinner and an evening fire. Mostly importantly: bring two tents and two sleeping bags. Presuming they’re going to sleep in your tent is rude enough to be a deal breaker.

 

4. Get Tickets for a Sporting Event

This idea works for both genders, even girls who aren’t sports fans. A girl who volunteers to get tickets to a sporting event shows she can be one of the guys. Both girls and guys will want to choose a sport such as hockey, basketball, or soccer, though. If the sparks aren’t there after 90 minutes with someone, the public setting gives you a perfect opportunity to cut and run.

 

5. Cooking Class

Men who can cook are an instant turn on, and the way to a man’s heart often really is through his stomach. Food, which ignites all of one’s senses, can always be a sexy cooking couple experience, so turn up the flames with a cooking class taught by a professional. Surf the Web for a culinary school or community college which offers a nighttime course without too much commitment.  If the date doesn’t whet your appetite by the end of the night, at least you learned a thing or two about cooking, and for that, your own appetite will thank you.

 

How To Make A Man Fall In Love

cupid shot with arrowOnce you’ve met the man you know you want — you really want — it’s time to solidify it. Proceed with care, though. A ham-handed attempt to be the ‘perfect’ girl for him and make him love you will be as transparent (and ineffective) as that cheesy lace negligee you spent way too much on.

 

Don’t be Delusional

You can’t make a man fall in love with you, and truth be told, you really don’t want to. Yes, you’re smitten with each other, but the love you seek is the kind that happens naturally. It’s that kind of love that can only come via a true bond: a connection that develops automatically because you’re just right for each other. You certainly can, however, take steps to create an atmosphere that will nurture rather than hinder the bond of being in love.

 

Be Happy

No one wants to be around a sad or angry girl. You have to start out happy with yourself before you can make someone else happy. If your career is in shambles, work hard to get out of that rut. If you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, get real, professional support. If you’re unhappy with the way you look, get your hair done, join a gym, or surround yourself with hip people from whom you can learn some fashion tips.

 

skunks flirting blushingBe Mysterious

No matter how much he says he does, he doesn’t want to know everything about you — or your day. Don’t make him suspicious or jealous, and don’t disappear for long periods of time, but do be allusive sometimes. Don’t text, call and visit him incessantly; always be the one who ends the conversation before he gets bored.

 

Be Interesting

Read, watch, and then read some more. Read about sports, watch Star Trek and Star Wars, and learn how to shoot a three-pointer without concern for your acrylics. As much as women do, men looking to settle down look for a partner who will be their equal. Men want to solve problems for you, but will be impressed that you are independent enough to fix something yourself or can hang in a conversation about something other than your new Louboutins.

 

Be Patient

Falling in love is rarely instantaneous. And even if it is, the dangerous speed of a whirlwind romance is bound to create tension. Once you both realize you are falling in love, your brains will reel from the stress of all this new pressure and you’ll get into arguments over nothing. Both of your fight or flight instincts will kick in — make sure you’re being patient, fair and understanding enough to recognize this and keep him from fleeing.

 

5 Foods Girls Shouldn’t Order on a First Date

bad girl dinnerOn a first date, first impressions are everything. You might think your breath is the only thing you need to worry about while perusing the menu, but think again. What you order on a first date can say a lot about you, and will either get your relationship cooking, or leave him with a bad taste in his mouth.

 

Onions, Garlic and Curry, Oh My!

So garlic is a bad idea all around if you’re expecting a sexy goodnight kiss. However, there are many more foods which cause bawdy breath due to a high sulfur content, such as salsa, and foods which contain curry. Avoid the sulfurs and he won’t suffer through a steamy goodbye.

 

No Needs for Utensils, Thanks

Ribs, chicken wings and pulled pork are not only sloppy and unattractive to eat, but the meats get stuck in your teeth, which could put an embarrassing situation on your hands. Nothing is as uncouth as a woman picking her teeth, even if it’s with a toothpick. (If you do find yourself with something stuck in your teeth, make sure you excuse yourself to the restroom, and do a breath check while you’re at it.) Not eating with your hands is a good first date rule-of-thumb.

 

I’m Secretly a Rabbit!

Contrary to popular girl belief, men know you eat. They know you eat food, and they know you eat at least an acceptable amount of various foods. (If he thinks you habitually starve yourself and still asked you out, you’ve got bigger problems than having a steak in front of him.) Don’t be pretentious and order a salad just to appear super fit or dainty. You’ll have to end your charade eventually, and if the date is going to last (especially if until morning) you’re going to need some protein to keep from getting cranky.

 

I Only Eat Lobster, Thanks

Never, ever, ask about the cost of something you’re ordering or express any concern about prices, especially if they’re not on the menu. Worrying about the price of your meal will make him feel self-conscious, as though you don’t think he can swing it. Worse yet, it will seem as though you’re not used to the best, which can lose you some respect. However, good manners would prevent you from going to the other end of the spectrum and ordering the most expensive thing on the menu, such as the filet mignon or the lobster, unless he first offers the suggestion for you both.

 

Thanksgiving is a Snooze!

Foods high in tryptophan, and foods which boost the brain’s release of serotonin, mixed with foods high in carbs cause serious sleepiness, especially if eaten within four hours of bedtime. Potatoes, bread, rice, tofu, and poultry such as turkey or chicken can contribute to a calming combo of sleep-aiding brain chemicals. So, if you want to avoid becoming a bore halfway through your date, avoid the potato-poultry duos. While you’re at it, avoid red wine or [YAWN] too many cocktails, which could also have you calling it quits when he’s just getting going.

 

Top 5 Things She Wants To Hear

complimenting womenDon’t cringe just yet, there are a few tried and tested survival tactics when forging through the forest of figuring out things she wants to hear. You’ve made the all-important first step towards bonding with her simply by considering what she wants to hear and what she doesn’t. Just bear in mind that every person is different: never expect every method to work 100 percent of the time.

 

“How Was Your Day?”

Yes, you are wincing at the thought of it. But, don’t even bother trying to get out of it — you’re going to have to ask her this every day. She might rant for hours about stuff you could care less about. She might say simply: “It was OK. Same old. What do you want for dinner?” If you’re not lucky enough for the latter, tough it out. If that sounds unbearable, try revising the question to “What’s the most interesting thing that happened to you today?” You might get an entertaining story rather than how her bitchy work friend pissed her off over some girl stuff when she something something something.

 

“You Look Beautiful/Sexy/Pretty”

Often this is said sufficiently enough with a knowing glance, and a little grab and a sweet kiss, but make sure you say it too. Women can’t hear often enough how beautiful they are. Figure out creative ways to inject it into new situations. When introducing her to someone new say “and this is the stunning Eleanor,” or pencil the words “You are beautiful” in the margin of the book she’s reading a good 10 pages ahead of where her bookmark is.

 

How Do You Feel About [Something]

Consulting her on anything is a good idea, be it business, your proposed new diet, or what she thinks about some recent political scandal. She needs to know you respect her enough to care about her opinion on everything.

 

“I Love You”

Rule Number One of dropping the L-bomb: Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. You WILL break her heart when it becomes clear it was only pillow talk. Rule Number Two: Even when you do mean it, don’t say it too soon. Use some restraint. She will perceive it, and it will make the moment when you do say “I Love You” all the more meaningful and emotional.

 

“You’re My Best Friend”

Telling her she’s your best friend is hands down the most important and flattering thing you could ever say to someone you’re in a romantic relationship with. Just make sure you mean it. Be careful though. It has to come after the L-word, or she’ll feel like she’s in friend-ville, or worse, she’s a friend-with-benefits.

5 Tips to Separate Him From His Pack

guys at the barHumans will always be social animals, but if you’re out there and you’ve set your sight on one particular example of the male species, your chances are way better if you can get him on his own. You’ve worked hard on your game, but it likely only works one-on-one. If you get him flying solo, you also won’t run the risk of a wingman running interference, or competition from a rival female. Keep a few tips in mind and you’ll be two-to-tango in no time.

 

Carry a Spare

If you are out with a close girlfriend, counteract his wingman’s interference with your own wing-girl. Just make sure she knows in advance that you’re pawning her off on the friend, or you’re going to get some serious bitching-out over text the next morning.

 

wing waitress

Have A Wing Girl

If you’re not out with a wing-girl, don’t be too shy to radio in for help. If you can call in the Thelma to your Louise — i.e. another hot chick who can keep his friend(s) busy — you’re golden. Hell, she might thank you for it later. That, or she’ll never speak to you again. Make sure the risk is worth it.

 

 

Abscond With Him

You might not want to invite him straight into your locker room, but you will score a few points by getting him off the gridiron and onto a neutral playing field. If you can escape the meat market and get him into a bar where you know the bartender, a club which you like but he has never been to, or a venue where he feels slightly off-guard — such as an art show opening — you’ll be able to take the upper hand. Try a rouse such as “I left my wallet somewhere, will you help me find it?”

 

All’s Fair in Love and War

If all else fails and you can’t seem to get him away from his pack, a little light flirting with his friends will excite that part of the male psyche which forces them to win a female’s attention over other males. Pitting them against each other should be done with caution, however. You don’t want to start a war which results in a fist fight, just get them mentally competing against each other. Eventually make your favorite clear, and the others should soon back away. It’s somewhere in the Bro Code, allegedly.

 

Just Ask

Don’t under-estimate simply asking his friend (or friends) to make scarce. Make sure you do it in Stealth Mode, however. He doesn’t even know you’re interested in him — yet. He doesn’t want to feel Cougared. Wait until his friend goes to the bathroom and catch him before he returns. There aren’t too many guy friends who wouldn’t hastily invent some excuse to rush out early after you lay all your cards on the table, and reveal your sneaky plan to get his friend all to yourself. If you play your cards right, the next morning, your crush will thank his buddies for it.

 

How to Make Him Chase You

chasing girl

Playing hard-to-get might seem like the obvious route to get him to chase you. Perhaps it is obvious — but it’s also still important. It is not, however, the only move you need to get him on the offensive.

 

Let Him Make the First Move

If you see him out at the supermarket, notice with a smile but keep pushing your cart along. If he’s making eyes at you from across the bar, return them, but never get up first. Even if he motions you over, give him the friendly ‘yeah right’ smile, and wait. The one who makes the first move loses — don’t let it be you.

 

Get a Life

Even if the hottest fling in the world erupts between the two of you, don’t go all in. Make sure you have a life: a good job that you care about, hobbies that are fun and productive and which make you happy, and above all else, be interesting. He not going to chase someone who bores, or scares him, so make sure you keep the vast majority of that free time to yourself.

 

Play Hard-to-Get

Don’t answer on the first ring every time, or respond to every text immediately. If he sets a date, break it a respectable amount of time in advance — but do it politely, don’t just no-show.

 

Flirt

The major danger in hard-to-get is taking it too far. You can’t be unattainable or you risk him giving up. Make sure you’re flirtatious, but not creepy. Keep it cute and not cliché: instead of texting him sexy comments, try finding him in person (not at work), and bringing him your favorite book. You then have an excuse to follow-up with him later.

 

Show Him Other Guys Want You

The male psyche has a built in mechanism to win you over from other males. Flirting with another guy in front of him will excite this part of his brain, and drive him to action. Just don’t take it too far, or he will actually think you’re taken and back off in fear of stepping on another bro’s toes.

chasing woman beach buoy boys

5 Tips for Meeting Someone at the Gym

flirting at the gymThe gym can be one of the best places to meet someone: not only are you sure they care about their appearance and health as much as you do, but workout gears usually ensures you get a little sneak peek at the physical goods before you get too far down the dating road. Tread lightly, however. Some gym people are strictly there for a work out.

 

Don’t be ‘That Guy’

The worst guy at the gym is the one who’s there to pick up women. Although there are plenty of girls who want to be picked up while working out, it’s a mistake to assume most women want to be hit on in that situation. There’s a certain vulnerability to huffing through an hour treadmill jog in tight and revealing spandex, sans make-up, so don’t go on a balls out attack or you’ll only get defense in return.

 

Work on Your Rep[s]

Make sure you’re a healthy presence in the gym. If you’re going to offer to ‘spot’ someone on the bench press, you need to be two things: obviously physically fit enough to do so, and trusted by the gym staff and other gym-users. The last thing you want is for her to notice nervous glances or an eye roll from other gym folk when you offer to help.

 

Make Friends

One of the best ice breakers is the simple act of knowing someone’s name or even occupation before you meet them. It shows that you liked them enough to invest the time in asking about them. Just don’t get too stalker-y by pumping everyone in the gym for information or you’ll really creep them out. Becoming friends with the gym staff and patrons will help in your future conquests.

 

Practice Good Hygiene

If that workout god or goddess on whom you have had your eye sees you walk away from a machine without wiping it down, you’re sunk. Still worse, the last thing you want is the reputation for being ‘that smelly guy.’ Sweating at the gym is attractive; being stinky, well, just stinks.

 

Get Game

“‘Can You Spot Me?’ ‘Do You Know How This Machine Works?’ and ‘I Like Your Outfit’” are all legitimate ice breakers, but don’t rely on them. The best first impressions will happen naturally, and if she’s not interested in meeting people at the gym, the MP3 player likely won’t come off the whole time, so take the hint and don’t force it.