Best Ways To Approach a Girl

approachIf a girl seems unapproachable, it’s probably because she’s worth the trepidation: the momentary smile, the way she absentmindedly curls her hair around one finger while she chats with friends, the shape of her hips in those jeans. No eye-roll worthy pick-up line is going to suffice — you need to bring a pistol to this knife fight.

 

Be Napolean Bone-aparte

Confidence is key. You’ve got a dog in this race, and by dog we mean, your penis. But don’t let the wrong head craft your war plan. Tread lightly, because even if this isn’t your dream girl, treating the situation like it’s no ordinary come-on will mean success will surely be yours.

 

Leave the Cheese at La Fromagerie

And know what the hell a fromagerie is. It might sound crazy, but you need to have a classy conversation with a girl before you ever ask for her number. Knowing a thing or two about something other than football and basketball is the best way to get her interested. Pull out your smart phone and check what has happened in foreign policy that day, and come up with an intelligent and thought-provoking foray into a conversation. Smart guys are sexy, because they’re usually successful, but don’t sound too nerdy, or she might feel like she showed up to class without studying for the test. If you can sit down next to her, pull out your phone and act like you’re reading the news for the first time, and look over to her as though you just had to get her opinion on what happened.

 

Don’t Be a Guy Friend

The inherent danger in the non-sexual convo approach is that you might actually get along. You might unwittingly stumble into Just-a-friend-ville — and that’s no where you want to be. Make sure she knows you desire her: Every woman is flattered by subtle clues you want her. Make constant intense eye contact (win the staring contest!) and remember details about her life to bring up later in the conversation.

 

Be Sexy, Not Overzealous

In between chapters of conversation, inject delicate flirtations such as handing her a drink but holding it a few seconds too long. How you look at her should (and will) tell her everything about what you want, and who you are. Just don’t be creepy, or you’ve just blown your chances. Subtlety is key, after all, you just met, and she has a lot more to lose than you.

 

Set a Deadline on Your Next Chapter

If she’s worth all of this trouble, then you’re likely not the first suitor she’s encountered, and you’re certainly not the last — or even the best. Make sure you don’t end up a crumpled business card in the bottom of her purse by setting the stage for the next meeting. If you talked about wine, tell her you were thinking about going to a local winery or tasting and ask her along. If she mentioned she hates golf tell her you feel you both should give the entire sport a chance at the putting range. Make sure you’re not just asking her out on ‘to dinner,’ and she’s way more likely to be intrigued.

 

3 NEW Ways to Get a Girl’s Number

If you never knew the old ways to get a girl’s phone number, it’s a good thing. Chances are she’s heard them before. Try a few new plays in an age-old game.

 

hangman love

1. Show Her You’re Hung

Start a game of Hangman on a napkin or a piece of notebook paper, except where the letters should be, you leave spaces in a 3-3-4 configuration: _ _ _   _ _ _   _ _ _ _ (as in spaces for the seven digits of your phone number). Casually mention there’s a numeral in the solution. If she starts whining about the added difficulty in that, be thankful she’s smart enough to realize that there is added difficulty in that. Tell her you’ll make up for it by giving the ‘hangman’ eyes, a nose, a mouth, and fingers. By this point you should have her fascinated, laughing, and focused on playing a game with you. She may guess right away that the solution is your phone number. At that point, you say “Oh you win!” Write in your phone number, quickly start a new seven-digit hangman, and say “OK it’s your turn!” ‘Hung’ jokes are optional.

 kickball team

2. Start a Co-ed Team

This approach obviously requires a lot more work (or at least planning) but the payoff is that you can use it to gather many girls’ phone numbers over the course of a few months. Approach a girl anywhere — refreshingly, this one doesn’t have to happen in a bar. Having researched local team sport activities such as soccer, billiards, or softball, ask her if she participates in the one you’ve Googled. If you like to ride, for example, ask her if she has a bike. If she says yes, tell her you’re recruiting for a new group bicycle ride from [point A] to [point B] and you need riders to join in. (Safety in numbers, etc.) Tell her you’ll call her with the details. Make sure you tell her if she has any friends, to bring them along, and get their numbers if she does.

 

box of puppies

3. Get a Charity Date

Just about any charity needs volunteers for events. Find the one that needs a suitable amount of help for an upcoming event. Try for one with “aww factor” such as The Finding Homes for Boxes and Boxes of Puppies Foundation charity ball, and get to work. First, phone them up and see if they need two volunteers for a few hours. Say you heard about it through a friend, and can’t really afford to attend, but would like to help. Over the next few days approach girls and ask if they would be interested in helping you. Or, at the very least, ask if you can text them a link to the event in case they know anyone who would.

 

7 Worst Online Dating Profile Photos

Your profile photo is often the first impression you have on people. This element is compounded by the advent of superficial platforms so you need to stay on your toes to make sure your dating game isn’t totally lost by one bad photo.

 

kurt cobainThe Someone Else

If your main profile photo is of someone else, you are obviously at odds with your appearance, or feel the need to make a statement with your photo, because you doubt anyone will get to know you long enough to naturally discover what you like. That, or you are so pretentious, you feel the need to shove your political, religious or musical tastes down anyone’s throat — even complete strangers on the internet.

 

lapdanceYou, With a Stripper

A photo taken by a bro on the sly while you get a lap dance, you with a Playmate-esque shotgirl  on each arm, or you with several girls in bikinis on a boat says one thing: You require sex (with anyone) and the validation it brings to your existence, and want anyone to know it. Basically, you’re a dick.

 

 

dad and kid with catYour Cat and/or Child

This tear-jerker type pic says your identity is pretty much consumed with the fact that you have a kid or a pet, because your life pretty much is consumed with the fact that you have a kid or a pet. You want the whole universe to see the pictures of your kid and say “Awww. You feed something regularly!” Or, you want the whole universe to see the pictures of your pet and say “Awww. You feed something regularly!” Either way, the ‘likes’ you get from these photos are out of pity.

 

double fisting drinksThe Doublefist

If you are featured in a profile photo with a drink in each hand, swigging Jager straight out of the bottle, slamming down chunks of a vodka-infused watermelon, or performing any other drinking feat for that matter, it tells the world you have a drinking problem — and will have fun at all costs. Those costs include, but are not limited to: your career, your education, and healthy relationships with other humans. This class of photos also proves you don’t care what anyone thinks about you professionally, and don’t plan on starting anytime soon.

 

 

 

kim k kidBaby You

You’re old, and it’s hilarious to see what you looked like sooo looong ago! In fact, you’re so old, people look at the photo and ask: “Is that you??”

 

 

 

 

 

over exposed filterThe Overexposed, Black and White, Out of Focus, Ethereal Art Photo

We all took a Photography 101 class, but your profile photos shouldn’t read like your freshman year syllabi. The only thing these photos say about you is that you are not attractive enough in person to bear the thought of an unadulterated photo. On that note, delete those photos of Alexander Hamilton, Euclid and any work of Gustav Klimt, and replace it with an simple sign that says: “I like stuff.”

 

 

 

tandem skydiveThe Showoff

The only thing vainer than a photo of you leaning on your hot sports car is one of you on top of a mountain. Or skydiving. Or skydiving in your sports car. The point of a profile is not to make people jealous. It’s to show who you are. If your life is an amalgamation of thrill-seeking narcissism because you crave validation from your peers, by all means post that photo of you hot air ballooning with Richard Branson and Michael Jackson’s ghost. We will all be impressed.

5 Topics to Impress Her on a First Date

scarlett johannson

It’s often hard to come up with stuff to talk about on a first date. You don’t want to come off as too self-centered by telling her your whole life story, yet you are putting on a presentation in an attempt to sell her on why you’re the best choice for her. Subtly curate your conversation and, if all else goes well, you should be well on your way to that all-important second date. Here are 5 topics to impress her on a first date.

 

Your Charity Work

If you don’t do any charity work, then start. Even if you simply help update the Facebook page for your local animal shelter, find a few hours each month to devote to being the good guy. Even if you’re doing it just to appeal to girls, a lot of charitable organizations need all the help they can get, and who knows, you might even start to like helping others.

 

Your Investment Portfolio

This topic is tricky. Gordon Gekko’s “greed is good” mentality might work in the boardroom, but it can easily appear garish on a first date. The trick is to touch on the idea that you have several successful investments without making it seem as though you are trying to impress her with your overwhelming wealth. The best method is to pick one humble element of how you arrived at your riches, and focus on that. “It’s crazy! I had to save up like four paychecks for some Google stock in college…”

 

boys who play guitarYour Super Sexy Hobby

Danger sports such as rock climbing or kite surfing are impressive because they show that you’re bold, healthy, and full of adrenaline. Women are hard-wired to be attracted to an abundance of energy coupled with a lack of fear — signs you’re a good hunter and protector.

 

abs vs nerdYour Expertise

Intelligence is sexy, and it’s impressive to be well-versed on a topic such as 18th Century literature, string theory, classic cars, or Reagan-era politics. Just be extra careful not to come off as superior, or a pedant. She’s only going to be impressed with your knowledge on a certain topic if you possess more of it than she does, but she’s going to be largely turned off if you quiz her or make her feel stupid.

 

How Much You Love Your Family

Women are nesters by nature. They will always be impressed by how you visit your elderly grandmother every Tuesday no matter how busy you are, how you still mow your mother’s lawn every week even though she insists on paying someone to do it, or how you surprised your little sister with a trip to the Galapagos to learn about Darwin. It not only says you’re kind and empathetic, but showing her that you are focused on family tells her you’ll be good mating material.

 

Best Summer First Date Ideas

First dates are tricky, because you’re not only setting the stage for your first encounter, you’re telling your date a lot about yourself. Dinner and a movie is an old favorite, but it doesn’t show much creativity. An impressive first date idea puts you in control of the next move, because it leaves them wanting more.

 

1. Take a Winery Tourwine tasting

If you’re fortunate enough to live near a winery, book a car service to pick you and your date up, and take you back home. A quick web search can reveal many discount tour packages, and the same goes for the car service. Driving after sampling a few glasses of the vino is a big no-no, but paying for a car service shows you are both responsible and successful.

 

2. BYOB Painting Class

Hour or two hour-long classes are offered in almost every region of the country these days, and if one doesn’t exist in your area, call ahead and ask the instructor if there’s an adults-only art class where they wouldn’t mind you bringing a bottle or two. If the instructor gives you the green light, make sure you bring enough inexpensive bottles and plastic flutes for the whole class, and the instructor, to have a glass.

 

camping fire3. Go Camping

Book a campsite for a favorable time of year in advance and then invite your crush along. This one requires a bit of advance planning, however. Make sure the campsite offers amenities such as a shower and possibly even electricity. Bring along everything for a romantic rustic dinner and an evening fire. Mostly importantly: bring two tents and two sleeping bags. Presuming they’re going to sleep in your tent is rude enough to be a deal breaker.

 

4. Get Tickets for a Sporting Event

This idea works for both genders, even girls who aren’t sports fans. A girl who volunteers to get tickets to a sporting event shows she can be one of the guys. Both girls and guys will want to choose a sport such as hockey, basketball, or soccer, though. If the sparks aren’t there after 90 minutes with someone, the public setting gives you a perfect opportunity to cut and run.

 

5. Cooking Class

Men who can cook are an instant turn on, and the way to a man’s heart often really is through his stomach. Food, which ignites all of one’s senses, can always be a sexy cooking couple experience, so turn up the flames with a cooking class taught by a professional. Surf the Web for a culinary school or community college which offers a nighttime course without too much commitment.  If the date doesn’t whet your appetite by the end of the night, at least you learned a thing or two about cooking, and for that, your own appetite will thank you.

 

How To Make A Woman Want You

woman seducingIf the animal instinct has already set in and your eye contact tells you there’s a chance she wants you, your next move is to strategize your attack. It’s also time to play a little offensive defense: as successful as your fight plan may be, you’re going to have to pull off a few stealth moves that have her helping in her own defeat.

 

Keep the Upper Hand

If she’s a seven, you need to be an 8.5. If she’s better looking, make sure you come off as more successful. If she’s a stellar athlete, or a dancer, make sure she knows you’re renowned in your particular section of the business world. Everyone always wants to ‘date up,’ make sure she knows you’re a challenge for her.

 

Thwart Biology

Taller men are biologically more appealing to women, but if you don’t happen to have a height advantage, then take advantage of your other big muscle: your brain. Always have good posture, a classy walk, and deliberate movements. Always have unwavering eye contact, remain unaffected by trivial events, and be witty and intelligent. All of these qualities are surprisingly attractive to women, so what you lack in brawn, you can make up for in brainpower.

 

Be Unavailable

No matter how sophisticated she is, having to pursue you will drive her crazy (in a good way). Women are used to being pursued, not the other way around, so making her work for her time with you will always leave her wanting more. She will never get bored with the chase because it keeps her too busy. Don’t be an absentee lover, however. If she’s highly desirable, there inevitably will be more suitors out there, and you don’t want to lose your edge on the competition.

 

Stay Out of the Friend Zone

Make it clear that the only acceptable relationship for the two of you is a romantic one, just don’t be crass about it. You want to be friends of course, but you’re looking for a seriously intense romance, too. Make that proposition appealing, or you’re going to end up solidly in the dreaded ‘friend zone,’ which is incredibly hard to come back from.

 

Be the Good Guy

At the end of the day, she still wants you to take care of her. You sometimes want to seem aloof in your relationship, but if she thinks you don’t care if she sees other guys, she probably will. You still have to be protective: be her hero. Don’t forget it’s still pretty fair to call dating a ‘game.’ Too much bluffing without a few genuinely good hands will leave you bust.

 

How To Make A Man Fall In Love

cupid shot with arrowOnce you’ve met the man you know you want — you really want — it’s time to solidify it. Proceed with care, though. A ham-handed attempt to be the ‘perfect’ girl for him and make him love you will be as transparent (and ineffective) as that cheesy lace negligee you spent way too much on.

 

Don’t be Delusional

You can’t make a man fall in love with you, and truth be told, you really don’t want to. Yes, you’re smitten with each other, but the love you seek is the kind that happens naturally. It’s that kind of love that can only come via a true bond: a connection that develops automatically because you’re just right for each other. You certainly can, however, take steps to create an atmosphere that will nurture rather than hinder the bond of being in love.

 

Be Happy

No one wants to be around a sad or angry girl. You have to start out happy with yourself before you can make someone else happy. If your career is in shambles, work hard to get out of that rut. If you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, get real, professional support. If you’re unhappy with the way you look, get your hair done, join a gym, or surround yourself with hip people from whom you can learn some fashion tips.

 

skunks flirting blushingBe Mysterious

No matter how much he says he does, he doesn’t want to know everything about you — or your day. Don’t make him suspicious or jealous, and don’t disappear for long periods of time, but do be allusive sometimes. Don’t text, call and visit him incessantly; always be the one who ends the conversation before he gets bored.

 

Be Interesting

Read, watch, and then read some more. Read about sports, watch Star Trek and Star Wars, and learn how to shoot a three-pointer without concern for your acrylics. As much as women do, men looking to settle down look for a partner who will be their equal. Men want to solve problems for you, but will be impressed that you are independent enough to fix something yourself or can hang in a conversation about something other than your new Louboutins.

 

Be Patient

Falling in love is rarely instantaneous. And even if it is, the dangerous speed of a whirlwind romance is bound to create tension. Once you both realize you are falling in love, your brains will reel from the stress of all this new pressure and you’ll get into arguments over nothing. Both of your fight or flight instincts will kick in — make sure you’re being patient, fair and understanding enough to recognize this and keep him from fleeing.

 

5 Foods Girls Shouldn’t Order on a First Date

bad girl dinnerOn a first date, first impressions are everything. You might think your breath is the only thing you need to worry about while perusing the menu, but think again. What you order on a first date can say a lot about you, and will either get your relationship cooking, or leave him with a bad taste in his mouth.

 

Onions, Garlic and Curry, Oh My!

So garlic is a bad idea all around if you’re expecting a sexy goodnight kiss. However, there are many more foods which cause bawdy breath due to a high sulfur content, such as salsa, and foods which contain curry. Avoid the sulfurs and he won’t suffer through a steamy goodbye.

 

No Needs for Utensils, Thanks

Ribs, chicken wings and pulled pork are not only sloppy and unattractive to eat, but the meats get stuck in your teeth, which could put an embarrassing situation on your hands. Nothing is as uncouth as a woman picking her teeth, even if it’s with a toothpick. (If you do find yourself with something stuck in your teeth, make sure you excuse yourself to the restroom, and do a breath check while you’re at it.) Not eating with your hands is a good first date rule-of-thumb.

 

I’m Secretly a Rabbit!

Contrary to popular girl belief, men know you eat. They know you eat food, and they know you eat at least an acceptable amount of various foods. (If he thinks you habitually starve yourself and still asked you out, you’ve got bigger problems than having a steak in front of him.) Don’t be pretentious and order a salad just to appear super fit or dainty. You’ll have to end your charade eventually, and if the date is going to last (especially if until morning) you’re going to need some protein to keep from getting cranky.

 

I Only Eat Lobster, Thanks

Never, ever, ask about the cost of something you’re ordering or express any concern about prices, especially if they’re not on the menu. Worrying about the price of your meal will make him feel self-conscious, as though you don’t think he can swing it. Worse yet, it will seem as though you’re not used to the best, which can lose you some respect. However, good manners would prevent you from going to the other end of the spectrum and ordering the most expensive thing on the menu, such as the filet mignon or the lobster, unless he first offers the suggestion for you both.

 

Thanksgiving is a Snooze!

Foods high in tryptophan, and foods which boost the brain’s release of serotonin, mixed with foods high in carbs cause serious sleepiness, especially if eaten within four hours of bedtime. Potatoes, bread, rice, tofu, and poultry such as turkey or chicken can contribute to a calming combo of sleep-aiding brain chemicals. So, if you want to avoid becoming a bore halfway through your date, avoid the potato-poultry duos. While you’re at it, avoid red wine or [YAWN] too many cocktails, which could also have you calling it quits when he’s just getting going.

 

Top 5 Things She Wants To Hear

complimenting womenDon’t cringe just yet, there are a few tried and tested survival tactics when forging through the forest of figuring out things she wants to hear. You’ve made the all-important first step towards bonding with her simply by considering what she wants to hear and what she doesn’t. Just bear in mind that every person is different: never expect every method to work 100 percent of the time.

 

“How Was Your Day?”

Yes, you are wincing at the thought of it. But, don’t even bother trying to get out of it — you’re going to have to ask her this every day. She might rant for hours about stuff you could care less about. She might say simply: “It was OK. Same old. What do you want for dinner?” If you’re not lucky enough for the latter, tough it out. If that sounds unbearable, try revising the question to “What’s the most interesting thing that happened to you today?” You might get an entertaining story rather than how her bitchy work friend pissed her off over some girl stuff when she something something something.

 

“You Look Beautiful/Sexy/Pretty”

Often this is said sufficiently enough with a knowing glance, and a little grab and a sweet kiss, but make sure you say it too. Women can’t hear often enough how beautiful they are. Figure out creative ways to inject it into new situations. When introducing her to someone new say “and this is the stunning Eleanor,” or pencil the words “You are beautiful” in the margin of the book she’s reading a good 10 pages ahead of where her bookmark is.

 

How Do You Feel About [Something]

Consulting her on anything is a good idea, be it business, your proposed new diet, or what she thinks about some recent political scandal. She needs to know you respect her enough to care about her opinion on everything.

 

“I Love You”

Rule Number One of dropping the L-bomb: Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. You WILL break her heart when it becomes clear it was only pillow talk. Rule Number Two: Even when you do mean it, don’t say it too soon. Use some restraint. She will perceive it, and it will make the moment when you do say “I Love You” all the more meaningful and emotional.

 

“You’re My Best Friend”

Telling her she’s your best friend is hands down the most important and flattering thing you could ever say to someone you’re in a romantic relationship with. Just make sure you mean it. Be careful though. It has to come after the L-word, or she’ll feel like she’s in friend-ville, or worse, she’s a friend-with-benefits.

How to Make Him Chase You

chasing girl

Playing hard-to-get might seem like the obvious route to get him to chase you. Perhaps it is obvious — but it’s also still important. It is not, however, the only move you need to get him on the offensive.

 

Let Him Make the First Move

If you see him out at the supermarket, notice with a smile but keep pushing your cart along. If he’s making eyes at you from across the bar, return them, but never get up first. Even if he motions you over, give him the friendly ‘yeah right’ smile, and wait. The one who makes the first move loses — don’t let it be you.

 

Get a Life

Even if the hottest fling in the world erupts between the two of you, don’t go all in. Make sure you have a life: a good job that you care about, hobbies that are fun and productive and which make you happy, and above all else, be interesting. He not going to chase someone who bores, or scares him, so make sure you keep the vast majority of that free time to yourself.

 

Play Hard-to-Get

Don’t answer on the first ring every time, or respond to every text immediately. If he sets a date, break it a respectable amount of time in advance — but do it politely, don’t just no-show.

 

Flirt

The major danger in hard-to-get is taking it too far. You can’t be unattainable or you risk him giving up. Make sure you’re flirtatious, but not creepy. Keep it cute and not cliché: instead of texting him sexy comments, try finding him in person (not at work), and bringing him your favorite book. You then have an excuse to follow-up with him later.

 

Show Him Other Guys Want You

The male psyche has a built in mechanism to win you over from other males. Flirting with another guy in front of him will excite this part of his brain, and drive him to action. Just don’t take it too far, or he will actually think you’re taken and back off in fear of stepping on another bro’s toes.

chasing woman beach buoy boys