5 Ways To Get A Woman To Be More Adventurous In The Bedroom

WRITTEN BY: VICTORIA STRONG

domination in bed

How to get a woman to be more sexually adventurous #1: Trust is a must

Does your woman trust you – in general?

For most women, trust is quite the aphrodisiac. Because what she really wants is to be assured that your sexual (and emotional) feelings are about HER; that she’s not some generic placeholder. If she feels connected and trusting, she is more likely to release to her pleasures.

Women can easily be having sex for reasons other than peak pleasure: she wants to be “hot,” it’s socially acceptable, she wants to be liked and feel beautiful, etc. So it’s important that she trust you enough to settle into her own body and not remain more outside the experience by feeling ambivalent about being there in the first place.

How to get a woman to be more sexually adventurous #2: Talk about the subject of sex outside the bedroom

Your sexual personality and core values about sex are an inherent part of who you are. Same with her. And yet “gee, I hope mind reading works” is often how we feel with a lover, especially if emotions are involved.

Curiously, people can be embarrassed to talk about sex with the person they’d most like to experience pleasure with. So it’s important to improve sexual honesty and communication skills, so that it feels more normal to talk about sex as a part of your relationship. This is a life long lesson by the way, but you’re way ahead of the curve if you start early.

First step: figure out what sex means to you. Figure out your value structure around it.

Is it a compliment to companionship?

Is it the only thing that matters?

Do you know your own fantasy world – and what would you hope for from a woman you cared for?

Would you be open to her fantasies if she found the courage to tell you?

Get to know yourself first before opening up this dialogue. Be thoughtful about knowing what makes you tick, before asking more of your partner.

How to get a woman to be more sexually adventurous #3: Be less predictable

Here comes some tough love: No matter how giving you may be as a lover, if you are in service of your erections, you are utterly predictable. Unless you reframe your response to arousal it’s you and your biology that’s in charge.

Think of it this way – your erections got your attention very early on in your life and your first and strongest reaction was to ‘get rid of it’ (meaning seek release.) So then you grow up, have sexual partners and are on auto-pilot with the need to seek release, which is then part of every single one of your sexual moves.

Guys, we know before you do where you’re headed. So in order to become Less Predictable you need to become comfortable with holding your erotic charge.

How to get a woman to be more sexually adventurous #4: Encourage her discovery

Many women hone their sexual skills at the upfront stage: The Yes. The NO. The Maybe. Yes, we’re the deciders. You guys are pretty much always in forward motion. And even if you’re not on the chase, if you were presented with an opportunity for sex what are the chances you would turn it down?

The snag here is that women may get stuck at the deciding phase and not really own their sexual desires. Women often see their desires only in relationship to the man’s, not in their own right. So what is in your very best interest is if she starts to know herself, her desires, her boundaries….and then meets you half way.

Because if a woman constantly feels pressured into doing something, it keeps her on alert; she walls up and maybe even disconnects. This is the polar opposite of what you want. So give her the space to come to you. Set the conditions (in these 5 tips) so that she will do so, rather than trying to talk her into something.

How to get a woman to be more sexually adventurous #5: Think sensual: Look to the five senses

THE most important way to become more adventurous is for her to get out of a mental process and (safely) drop into her body’s sensations…. on a timeline that feels comfortable to her.

The quickest way to get her to feel her own body is with sensual play. Think of your five senses. Examples:

For Taste, feed her strawberries.

For Smell: gorgeous scented candles (and let’s not forget the ones that can actually be used for body massage as the wick burns down. Note: be sure the candle is marked for hot oil massage or else ouch!)

Hear: either beautiful music or if it’s appropriate, listen to a cd together that is anthology of short erotic stories (written for women.)

Touch: yes. Touch for its own sake is very good. See massage candle. Or maybe slow dance, but I mean s-l-o-w dance, so you can feel each other’s heart beat. See: beauty. Whatever that is to her. (Men, you are much more visually oriented than we are.)

Gentlemen, the challenge for you during sensual play is to not quickly jump to penetration, at which time the play changes. If you truly are trying to get your woman to feel more… well, see tip #3.

For more information visit http://www.socialattraction.co.uk/

Written by Victoria Strong A former award winning NYC television producer, Victoria’s move to Paris was the beginning of profound change – both personally and professionally. Today she’s a certified somatic sex educator, with a dynamic approach that helps men and women create lives with more joy, deeper connection and heightened sexual pleasure. Now UK based, Victoria works in person and via Skype and is founder of victoriastrong.com

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