How To Get A Date Online

get a date online

How to Get A Date Online

By Gary Gunn

Sure, it’s only natural that when you meet someone online you will inevitably take their phone number, start texting them with the intention of organising to meet up.

Here lies a problem … not only are you killing the mystery of anticipation of meeting that person for the first time, but you are also wasting a lot of your time on someone who, until you meet in person, may not be attractive to you.

With online dating being so widespread nowadays with so many different options we are now advising our clients to go straight from email to a real life date.

So here are my 5 easy steps to organising a real life date online:

How to get a date online #1: First email

In your first email you need to convey that you are attractive and that you like a part of their profile (which isn’t their photo).  You also need to give them an easy opportunity to email you back so welcome to one of the email templates known as FLQ – or “flirt, like, questions”.

It’s pretty well what it says on the tin. You flirt with them first, then you like something about their profile and then you ask them a question. Here is an example of an email using this formula sent to a man whose online dating profile was about adventure and travelling:

Hey, I’m Louise,

I love what you’ve written … not sure I love the passport photos though! (Flirt part)

Honestly, I was amazed by your adventures in India.  That’s a place I’ve always wanted to go to myself. (Like part)

So tell me something … India has been ticked off your check list, so where’s next and why? (Question part)

How to get a date online #2: Second email

Once you receive a reply to your initial email they are conveying that they are also interested in you which is a clear enough go ahead signal to organise a date. Your second email should reply to any questions that they have asked but it also say that you are busy and don’t check in online often. Try and say something along the lines of “I’m doing this …… come along and meet me”.

Once they reply and agree to the date then you can ask for their number just in case you are running late etc. Simply text them your name and don’t get embroiled in a texting conversation, and this will maintain your air of mystery.

How to get a date online #3: If they don’t reply to your first email

If you have sent an email to someone that you like and they haven’t replied then I would suggest either focusing your attention elsewhere or you can send one more email just in case, for whatever reason, they weren’t in a position to reply to your first email.

Email them again one more time a week later, but just with a simple flirting email rather than using the 3 step email formula, and this can be anything in the profile such as a weird photo or a spelling mistake etc – the key here is to flirt more than the initial email.

How to get a date online #4: Where to go on a date

Mini dating is the modern way to date, gone are the days of romancing an online date by taking her out for dinner before you have even met her. The key to an effective first date is to make the date interactive, so do not just sit opposite them having a coffee as this is bound to turn in to an interview type scenario, Instead try and do something together. For example, say you need a new shirt for work and you want a female/male opinion so why don’t they come along to help.

Dating this way takes away a lot of the social anxieties about meeting someone online and it also serves to keep the attention on whatever you choose to do together, rather than on the strain of the conversation which alleviates any awkward silences etc.

How to get a date online #5: Body language on the date

Just a few quick tips on how to maximise your body language when you first meet someone in person. Firstly, make sure that you smile when you first meet them and also hold their eye contact.

Other than that remember this is a first date from online dating so you don’t need to worry about when to touch them etc. Instead relax and just get to know them to see if there is any real life chemistry.

Top tip: Even if there is no chemistry but you feel you could make a new friend then remember they may have other single friends who may be a better fit for you and, similarly, you could introduce him or her to any of your single friends. Really, the key here is to always be offering value.

Written by Gary Gunn Based in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specializing in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

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