How To Get A Date Online

get a date online

How to Get A Date Online

By Gary Gunn

Sure, it’s only natural that when you meet someone online you will inevitably take their phone number, start texting them with the intention of organising to meet up.

Here lies a problem … not only are you killing the mystery of anticipation of meeting that person for the first time, but you are also wasting a lot of your time on someone who, until you meet in person, may not be attractive to you.

With online dating being so widespread nowadays with so many different options we are now advising our clients to go straight from email to a real life date.

So here are my 5 easy steps to organising a real life date online:

How to get a date online #1: First email

In your first email you need to convey that you are attractive and that you like a part of their profile (which isn’t their photo).  You also need to give them an easy opportunity to email you back so welcome to one of the email templates known as FLQ – or “flirt, like, questions”.

It’s pretty well what it says on the tin. You flirt with them first, then you like something about their profile and then you ask them a question. Here is an example of an email using this formula sent to a man whose online dating profile was about adventure and travelling:

Hey, I’m Louise,

I love what you’ve written … not sure I love the passport photos though! (Flirt part)

Honestly, I was amazed by your adventures in India.  That’s a place I’ve always wanted to go to myself. (Like part)

So tell me something … India has been ticked off your check list, so where’s next and why? (Question part)

How to get a date online #2: Second email

Once you receive a reply to your initial email they are conveying that they are also interested in you which is a clear enough go ahead signal to organise a date. Your second email should reply to any questions that they have asked but it also say that you are busy and don’t check in online often. Try and say something along the lines of “I’m doing this …… come along and meet me”.

Once they reply and agree to the date then you can ask for their number just in case you are running late etc. Simply text them your name and don’t get embroiled in a texting conversation, and this will maintain your air of mystery.

How to get a date online #3: If they don’t reply to your first email

If you have sent an email to someone that you like and they haven’t replied then I would suggest either focusing your attention elsewhere or you can send one more email just in case, for whatever reason, they weren’t in a position to reply to your first email.

Email them again one more time a week later, but just with a simple flirting email rather than using the 3 step email formula, and this can be anything in the profile such as a weird photo or a spelling mistake etc – the key here is to flirt more than the initial email.

How to get a date online #4: Where to go on a date

Mini dating is the modern way to date, gone are the days of romancing an online date by taking her out for dinner before you have even met her. The key to an effective first date is to make the date interactive, so do not just sit opposite them having a coffee as this is bound to turn in to an interview type scenario, Instead try and do something together. For example, say you need a new shirt for work and you want a female/male opinion so why don’t they come along to help.

Dating this way takes away a lot of the social anxieties about meeting someone online and it also serves to keep the attention on whatever you choose to do together, rather than on the strain of the conversation which alleviates any awkward silences etc.

How to get a date online #5: Body language on the date

Just a few quick tips on how to maximise your body language when you first meet someone in person. Firstly, make sure that you smile when you first meet them and also hold their eye contact.

Other than that remember this is a first date from online dating so you don’t need to worry about when to touch them etc. Instead relax and just get to know them to see if there is any real life chemistry.

Top tip: Even if there is no chemistry but you feel you could make a new friend then remember they may have other single friends who may be a better fit for you and, similarly, you could introduce him or her to any of your single friends. Really, the key here is to always be offering value.

Written by Gary Gunn Based in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specializing in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

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How You’re Turning Women Off Without Even Knowing It

How you’re turning women off without knowing it – things that guys do wrong when approaching women.

By: Gary Gunn

Stop Repulsing womenDuring the first 30 seconds of meeting someone new you will automatically set off their instinctual ‘fight or flight’ response, and further to this you then have another 90 seconds to frame your whole relationship with that person. So how they speak to you in an hour, how the treat you in a year and how the respect you in 10 years time always come down to the first 2 minutes of any new interaction.

So the first aim, objective and task of approaching women is to nullify their fight or flight response, so here are my top 4 tips on how to avoid turning women off.

How to approach women mistake #1: Body Language

The easiest way to make sure that you are not going to subtly switch a woman off is to point your body away from the woman you are talking to, if you stand directly facing her it will only heighten her fight or flight response and make her feel more uncomfortable. This means in reality she will want you to leave as soon as possible.

The other subtle body language error to avoid is leaning in, make sure that you are standing up straight and even if the music is loud – DO NOT LEAN IN, this is one of the worst mistakes that will turn women off instantly.

How to approach women mistake #2: Tempo of Speech

The reality is that when you approach women you will be feeling an anxiety about speaking to them and automatically you will start to speak quicker which unfortunately conveys a lack of confidence.

Remembering that you need to speak slower will help but if you manage to hold eye contact with the girl then this will automatically slow down your speech and you will come across as far more confident.

How to approach women mistake #3: Conversational Topic

It sounds obvious but choose your topic of conversation wisely, do not tell stories that make you out to be an idiot or stupid. Even if you think it’s a funny story make sure that you think about what you are conveying about yourself.

Examples of good topics are relationships, travel, music, asking their opinion on something or Astrology.

How to approach women mistake #4: Lead

When you start a new conversation with a woman or a group of women you need to lead the conversation, if they conversation flows on to ‘what do you do for a living’ or another generic conversation topic then the woman will switch off. So the skill here is to control the conversation at all costs and make sure it stays interesting and fun!

For more information visit Social Attraction “How to Approach Women” page.

Written by Gary Gunn Based in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specializing in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

Follow Me:
TwitterFacebookLinkedInGoogle Plus

to contact Gary direct email
or call