Body Language Of Attraction

The Body Language of Attraction With Gary Gunn of Social Attraction

Learn how to attract women into your life:

Having the correct body language to attract women is a necessity according to the published research of Albert Mehrabin who concluded that:

7% of our communication relates to the importance of the words we use.

38% of our communication refers to tone of voice and inflection.

55% of our communication refers to the importance of body language/face.

With body language making up a huge 55% of our communication with other human beings it’s clear that this is much more important than the specific words or phrases that we use when communicating with women, so much so that learning the correct body language to attract women will ultimately make the difference as to whether you attract her or not.

The Social Attraction Academy has been teaching body language to attract women for the past eight years and here are some of our vital suggestions.

Never hold your drink in front of your chest — always hold your drink by the top of the glass and hold it down to your side. This conveys open body language making you instantly look more confident. Next time you’re in a social environment take a look at every other man in the venue and you’ll notice how closed his body language is simply by where he is holding his drink. So put hold your drink down to your side to help convey the right body language to attract women.


Never lean in when you are talking to women — this is key when learning body language to attract women. Even if you find yourself in a club or bar where the music is really loud do not lean in. Just stand straight and speak louder, you’ll find that women will lean into you to hear you. This is very important as by leaning in you are giving away some of your power and you do not want to do that from the outset.

When you sit down take up as much room as possible — spread out your arm to the back of the chair and simply take up as much space as possible as this conveys dominance. Also try and get the main chair at the table where you are open to seeing the whole venue, as this way it’s easier to see what is happening around you and your body language to attract women will be on show for all to see.

Posture — make sure that you are not slouching or leaning over with your shoulders slumped over. If you change your posture this will actually make you feel and look more confident.

Personal hygiene — make sure that you take pride in your appearance and that you have shaved and are wearing deodorant and aftershave. All of these are small points but women will pick up on all of them, so why not look and smell your best when you meet women?

Dating Games To Play On A First Date


In my experience from coaching men in how to be more alluring to women, I have found that , whilst also ensuring you avoid the stereotypical realms of the “interview date” such as:

“What do you do for a living?”

“How old are you?”

“How long have you done that for?”

“Yawn” – So here are some great dating games to play that you can try on your next date or even on your next night out, we often also play these dating games during ourpua training weekends.

couple eating strawberriesDating Games To Play #1: Strawberry Fields.

So you begin by asking the following questions and, as you ask them, you need to remember the answers the woman gives (take note of your answers too as you read the questions).

“You are standing in a field and the next field along is full of loads of nice strawberries – how big is the fence that you have to climb to get to the strawberry field?”

“Now you’re in the field how many strawberries do you take?”

“Okay, now you have the strawberries, how do you feel about the farmer that you took them from?”

So, the size of the fence is an indicator of how difficult you are to sleep with. A high fence means that you put a higher value on who you decide to sleep with and a low fence means that you are much more likely to enjoy the frivolities of sex with various partners.

How many strawberries you take refers to how many sexual partners you desire in your lifetime.

How you feel about the farmer indicates how you feel after you have had sex with someone new.

My personal favourite response was during a pua bootcamp training weekend with two girls, and one answered “I would cook for the farmer” (This is the one to marry!!!). The other said “I don’t care about the farmer” (I leave this one to your imagination).

Dating Games To Play #2: The Doors Game.

This is one of my favourite dating games and works by asking the girl some questions and then explaining the meaning afterwards.

“You are in a light room, no windows and no doors, how do you feel?”

“What is your favourite colour?”

“What is your favourite animal?”

“You’re in front of a large body of water, let’s say the ocean. What do you do there?”

“You are there all day, so what do you do to pass time?”

The room represents how you view death.

The colour represents how you view yourself.

The animal represents how other people view you.

The ocean reflects your attitude to sex.

This game is best played mixed in with other fun dating games as it’s a more serious topic, but if you play this game then you will gain valuable insight into the woman’s emotional level and her views on the world.  It can be very powerful if played at the right time, and also this will improve you pua text game as you can then text the girl later reverting back to her fun answers.

Dating Games To Play #3: Roller Coasters.

This game is fantastic to play in bars and nightclubs and is fantastic to use as part of your pua conversation.  Again, you ask a series of questions before you explain their meaning.

You enter an amusement park and you go to the roller coaster line:

“How long do you wait to get on?” (Indicates how much time you want for foreplay).

“You’re on the ride, going all around, what is the feeling?” (Indicates your feelings during sex).

“Your car plunges into a splash pool at the end, what do you shout?” (What you say at the point of climax).

“Now you go to the merry-go-round but the horse is broken, how you feel?” (This is the girl’s true feeling when a man is impotent in that key moment).

“Now describe the perfect roller coaster ride… shape of track, feeling, etc” (This describes her views on her ideal sex).

This game is just really fun and you can introduce it by saying; “I saw this really fun game on TV last week, let’s play”.  Some of the answers you’ll receive are absolutely hilarious.

Dating Games To Play #4: Leap For Life From A Plane.

Once again it’s a series of questions, and then you explain their meanings afterwards:

“You are on the ground waiting your turn for your first skydive jump, watching other divers free-falling back to earth, what are you thinking/feeling?”(Describes your sexual desire).

“Your turn, you are on the plane, at the door’s edge and jump out, what do you scream?” (What you say at the point of climax during sex).

“You land safely and the instructor approaches you, what is he saying?” (What you imagine your partner tells you after sex).

This game is really entertaining and you can also both laugh about her answers throughout the evening, which is useful if the conversation is going dry as you can always revert back to her answers in this game, or any one of the previous dating games.

If you would like to attract more women in your life then come to one of Gary’s pua training weekends

Written byGary GunnBased in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specialising in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

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to contact Gary direct email
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How To Attract Women

In order to know what attracts women we must first understand exactly what attraction is.

If you look in any number of dictionaries you’ll find attraction listed as enticement, allurement, fascination and charm. All of a sudden it take on a mysterious yet almost enigmatic quality and that is because quite simply attraction is invisible.
It just doesn’t exist in our three dimensional world, we can’t see it, we can’t hear it, we can’t taste it, we can’t touch it and we can’t smell it.

So what can we do with it?…We can feel it. Attraction is a feeling, an instinct, nothing more nothing less, and this is pivotal in understanding how to attract women.

Scientific studies since the 19th Century when Charles Darwin first published his theory of evolution in 1859 in the book titled “On the origin of species” prove that females of all species including humans are attracted to the highest possible value male of the group, and this is vitally important when learning how to attract women.

Therefore, to comprehend exactly what Darwin meant by value we need to take a brief look at the ways different species attract mates to understand how we, ourselves, can learn how to attract women. Only then does multitude of understanding materialise.

OK, if we go all David Attenborough and look at some examples:

The peacock with the biggest and brightest feathers mates with not only one, but all of the peahens ie: He who looks the best, gets ALL of the females.

Flightless cormorants from the Galapagos Islands, as well as many other of our feathered friends, conduct mating dances or rituals that can be described as beautiful, aquatic waltzes. That is to say — He who dances the best, gets the bird.

To put this into a human perspective in regards with how to attract women, we only need to look at a famous actor such as Brad Pitt, whose looks have never failed him …………think Gwyneth, think Jennifer and now think Angelina!!

A dancer such as Justin Timberlake doesn’t struggle in knowing how to attract women. In a nutshell Darwin’s rules of how to attract women still apply, in that our genetics and DNA are still wired the same way as animals.

Now, we don’t have time to teach you all how to sing and dance or look like Brad Pitt, not that we have to, because learning how to attract women via their emotional response system is far simpler

How to Approach Women Without Fear

3 Ways To Exude Confidence to Women

fancy couple dancing dip


With pua inner game we are really entering into the realm of psychology, so how can you truly feel better about yourself.  Pua inner game is not about finding a short term fix either, like when you learn a new technique that gives you confidence with women for short periods of time for example.

I mean peeling back the layers of insecurity and false bravado that you have subconsciously learned, and really and truly feeling at one with yourself.  To have the ability to walk up to women and exude such a confidence that you do not need pua techniques, pua routines or really any form of strategy.

From my experience of working in the pua industry, I have realised that one of the major ways to feel more comfortable with yourself is to work towards attaining certain virtues that you wish to possess; it is these qualities that in the end will make you who you are as a man.

I shall give some examples now of virtues which if you possessed would make you far more alluring to women:

Pua inner game virtue #1: Temperance to not react.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. Benjamin Franklin

The basis of having this desirable quality is that you do not let outside circumstances influence your inner core, so how you feel about yourself.

This virtue is quite possibly the most attractive quality in a man. When you meet women and circumstances arise that would normally trigger an emotional reaction in you; instead if you strive to achieve temperance, namely present yourself as calm and collected and deal with the issue without emotional attachment, then women will instantly be drawn to you, this is far stronger than any pua conversation.

Temperance sub-communicates so many attractive qualities to women. Indeed you’ll find that if you are able to deal with any emotional drama without becoming involved, it will also stand you in healthy emotional grounding in all areas of your life and not solely in meeting women.

Pua inner game virtue #2: Order for clarity.

In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision. Dalai Lama

The real meaning of this virtue is to have your life organised and for every aspect of your life to have its own time to flourish.  This involves strategic planning so that you can plan your week to achieve the maximum benefit from the time that you have.

With pua training, the first step to achieving more order in your life is to decide how you would like to shape your future, so a few examples would be:

What kind of work would you like to do?

Where would you like to live?

Where would you like to travel?

How much time would you like to give to exercise?

Once you have set yourself specific goals of what you would like to achieve you can then look at the steps involved and plan your days, weeks, and months accordingly.

Adopting this pua inner game outlook will be highly alluring to women. The fact that you are willing to set yourself a goal with a strict time limit (this helps you achieve your goal), conveys so many positive attributes about yourself as a man, and you’ll find that during natural conversation women will be intrigued with your self-discipline.

Pua inner game virtue #3: Silence as authority.

Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.” Leonardo da Vinci

Right now in this moment if you were going to speak to a lady who you deem attractive, is your pua inner game strong enough that you are comfortable with a silence during the conversation, or even a prolonged silence between words?

To put this into perspective, if you listen to the best story tellers of modern society you will notice the amount of pauses they have during their stories.  These pauses convey control, knowledge and confidence.  The story teller does not feel the need to simply bellow out the information; instead they are cool, calm and collected. They know they have value and, as such, recognise silence as the positive feature that it is.

Pua inner game action point: You can use silence as a way of initially finding out how strong your inner game is when you are talking to women. Simply try to pause between conversation threads or even emphasise certain words and see how confident you really feel.

If you want to attract more women into your life the come to one of our Pua training bootcamps.

Written byGary Gunn
Based in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specialising in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

Follow Me:
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to contact Gary direct email
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How To Be A Charming Natural With Women

sit together cuddleDuring a pua conversation with women your main aim is to be charming and alluring to her, and in my experience the best way to maximize your appeal is to converse with a good assuming manner.

If you are respectful with your beliefs and more so with a lady’s opinions, then you will not lessen your power as a man. On the contrary, you will avoid generating negative thoughts on her side during the interaction.

Pua conversation #1: Converse with humbleness.

I have found that when you wish to offer your opinion on a topic to a woman, rather than being definitive (which could lead to instant opposition), you are far better to frame the pua conversation like it’s the way that you view the world, rather than it being a fact.

So, an example would be if you disagree with a woman’s perspective on a restaurant, instead of simply saying definitively:

 “I hate that restaurant.”

If she loves the restaurant, or even if she likes the food, she is going to feel an instant resistance to what you have said and this will bring up some form of opposition to what you are saying.

A different approach is to take on a more assuming pua conversation manner with something like:

“In my experience the service could be much better.”

This is a much more modest way of putting your point across as you are not being definitive; you are merely speaking with your life experience so far to date. In effect, this humble attitude even conveys that your opinion is able to change dependent on other new future experiences. Perhaps you could even go together, if she insists on showing you, Pua text game works on exactly the same principle.

Here are more examples of some pua conversation humblers:

“I conceive it to be like this … “

 “It appears to me … “

“I should think it so or so for such and such reasons … “

“I imagine it to be so … “

“It is so if I am not mistaken … “

“It appears to me at present … “

“From my frame of reference it seems like this … “

If you state your opinion to a woman in a blunt and forceful way then you run the risk of creating conflict, and possibly even a feeling of defensiveness which is likely to cut short any interaction.

Pua conversation #2: Charm with intelligence.

All of these pua conversation ideas are not limited to only speaking with women, and this one in particular will improve your interactions with all people you meet throughout your day.

One example of this is that during your day to day life you are likely to encounter men and women who have a differing opinion to you on a specific topic.  There may even be times when you know unquestionably that you are correct and instantly feel the need to point out their error and, dependent on how you handle this situation, it could create an issue.

The difficulty can arise that by instantly putting across your opinion you are likely to bring up a direct resistance from the person you are conversing with as, in essence, you are attacking their ego and this is one sure way of igniting their annoyance.

What I have found is that a better way of putting your point across is to begin with circumstances where their point may be correct, but then point out the differences in the scenario that you are discussing.

So a simple example would be:

“I completely agree with you and, in fact, during this set of circumstances I can see how that’s true; however, in this situation, is this not slightly different?”

The real key here is that you are acknowledging that they are in fact correct which validates what they are saying and will make them far more comfortable and at ease. Then you point out a slight difference in the set of circumstances which they may have missed.  This then allows their pride to remain intact whilst they are informed in their error of thinking, this is a very advanced pua training tip.

Pua conversation #3: Listen without analysis.

It has become apparent to me that a pua conversation trap that many men fall into is their lack of ability to be fully present when they are in dialogue with women.

A simple exercise that you can do immediately that will make you more aware of how much focus you have on a woman’s spoken word is to look at what filters you are putting a her words through before you actually hear the words that she is speaking.

So let’s say for example that a woman verbalises 1000 words to you and those words go through your filters of:

“I’m thinking about what to say next.” (20% of my attention)

“I’m looking for something in common.” (15% of my attention)

“I’m anxious that she’s going to get bored and go away.” (15% of my attention)

“Is she giving me signs that she likes me?” (10% of my attention)

All of a sudden 60% of your attention is not on what the woman is saying to you as it is lost through your filters, so you hear a grand total of 400 of her words. How much better do you think you would be able to communicate if you were able to listen to 20% more of her spoken words?!?!

Action point: Write down what filters you have when you are speaking to women and see which ones you can reduce slightly or even remove over time. The key isn’t to get to 100% of her words straight away, but you’ll find that any small increase will help your pua conversation with women.

To learn how to attract more women into your life then come to one of our Pua training weekends.

Written byGary GunnBased in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specialising in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

Follow Me:
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to contact Gary direct email
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3 Hypnotic Compliments You Can Pay A Woman

hynotizing dracula starePaying compliments would seem like the right thing to do to romance a woman that you like, and the right compliment at the right time will make the woman that you like feel truly special.

The problem that you face is that man after man has paid the girl you like generic compliment after generic compliment as a way of hitting on her, so if you truly wish to attract a woman then you need to make sure it’s the most powerful and sincere gesture that you can make, and not one of many scripted pua routines.

So here are my top 3 hypnotic compliments that you can pay a woman that will not come off like pua routines:



 #1: Mesmerise her with your chivalry.

Firstly, and a notion that many pua training companies miss, is that a compliment to a woman doesn’t just need appear in spoken form. Chivalry is a fantastic example of how to flatter a woman with your own unique qualities.  The term chivalry is actually a combination of virtues that were expected of an ideal knight such as courage, honour and courteous behaviours especially towards women.

The attractive quality of a knight was his willingness to help those weaker, which at first glance would mean those who really require his help. However a noble knight was so highly regarded that pretty well anyone was regarded as weaker to them, and what better way to show his helping hand than to women of beauty?

Chivalrous acts include notions such as always leading at all times, manners (this one should be obvious), respect and taking care of her every need. The general idea is for you to make her feel complimented because you want to take care of her and make sure everything is ok.

 #2: Magnetise her with your presence.

Actually take the time to listen to the words that a woman is speaking and she will be magnetised by the conversation.  When most men speak to women they often have some prescripted questions to ask which they believe that, in simply asking, then by the end of the interaction she will be attracted to them.

The problem with having a range of pua routines and questions ready to ask her in a bullet form manner is that you will not really be listening to her words, meaning that you will miss the dynamic of having a conversation when you are both extremely present, which is highly emotive if you can genuinely clear your mind of thoughts.

The reality is that during a conversation the less inner dialogue that you have the better, so much so that your aim is to be so in the moment with the women that after the interaction you really can’t remember what you conversed about. All you can remember was the amazing emotions involved and she too will be left with the same magnetic feeling luring her back to you.

Pua routines action point: This is a drill that we do as part of our pua training – During your next interaction with a woman really focus on every single word that she is saying and only think of what to say after she has finished speaking, you’ll be amazed by the change in dynamic of the conversation.

 #3: Spellbind her with your intrigue.

Be genuinely interested by her and, no, I’m not talking about the boring pua routines and questions like:

“What do you do for a living?”

“Where do you work?”

“How old are you?”

I mean be interested by her and how her mind works, and what it is about her that makes her who she is. Now timing is of the utmost importance when you wish to compliment a woman about what makes her truly unique, so here are a few examples of chosen works to speak at the correct time:

“I like the way your mind works.”

“That’s truly amazing that you can look at it like that.”

The point here is that you are interested by them as an individual, not what they are wearing or what they do for a living, but them at their essence.  This really is such a powerful compliment to pay a woman if you can make the remark at the right time, and the key is to make the remark about a specific way that she views the world or a situation.

Don’t make this compliment within the first 2 minutes of the interaction, this should be saved for when you are conversing and you want to take the communication to a deeper level.

For more information on how to interact with women in real life, visit our pua training page.

Written byGary GunnBased in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specialising in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

Follow Me:
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to contact Gary direct email
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Why You Might Suck At First Dates

Restaurant date

What is a great first date idea?

Knowing where to go on a first date can literally be make or break your long term dating potential.  If the date turns out to be boring or generic then the chances are that the relationship is going to get off on the wrong foot before it even begins.

So let’s start with the worst first date ideas:

Going to the cinema – This may be surprising to many but the cinema is actually a terrible first date as it involves sitting down in a silent environment without any interaction with one another.  This conveys a complete lack of planning and is also a sign that you are not used to dating as you’re aiming for minimal conversation.  Never go to the cinema on a first date, instead save this for a later date!!!

Going out for dinner – Dinner has got to be the worst first date possible.  You have to sit opposite someone and eat in front of them when you’re probably not feeling that comfortable.  The attention is on both of you which can put a huge strain on the conversation.  What do you talk about? How do you keep the conversation flowing? The likelihood is that it could end up feeling like an interview with random questions being posed at one another, which is hardly fun!!

Coming straight over for dinner – This is way too desperate and try hard but, believe me, many people still suggest this for a first date.  They can’t comprehend that dating is a process and should be full of many different fun interactions before your date has the opportunity of seeing where you live. It’s also good to keep an air of mystery and hold back showing them your place until you know each other better.

Going for a drink/coffee – This shows no imagination whatsoever and will not help kick start the potential dating process off in the best way possible.  It’s ok to go for a coffee or a drink but only whilst you are on a date! DO NOT make going for a drink the actual date itself!!

Good ideas for first dates

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination. Albert Einstein

Never has a truer word been spoken, particularly in reference to first dates.  Ideally you want to do something imaginative and significantly, something that will also take the pressure off the interaction between both of you.  This way you can enjoy each other’s company whilst also doing something fun.

Here are a few great examples of where to go on a first date:

Existing event – The key here is to have an interesting lifestyle where you are already going to different events on a frequent basis such as a food festival, a live music gig etc.  You can then invite your potential date along as you are already going; this takes the pressure off the date and makes it much more fun for them to come along with you. Crucially you’ll find that it also makes it easier for them to have  more confidence to say yes.

Shopping – You need to buy a new pair of shoes for a job interview, or a new shirt etc.  The important point here is that you need their opinion on something that you are going to buy; this will give them a purpose and a reason as to why they should come with you.

Mini dating – So meeting them for shopping and then grabbing a coffee, perhaps even being more spontaneous and saying look there’s a bowling ally lets go have a quick game.  The intention is to have several mini (and different) fun interactions which will result in speeding up the connection building process of the first date.

In short, when you are actively going on first dates you need to try and take the pressure off the interaction between you and your date.

The idea here is that the pressure is minimised if you are doing something actively together. As an example there’s a Jamie Oliver restaurant near my house where head chefs host classes in how to cook specific meals… what a great first date as it’s interactive and it’s a fun evening based around great food.

Written byGary GunnBased in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specialising in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

Follow Me:
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to contact Gary direct email
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The Text Game – 5 Messages She Wants to Read

happy girl textThe first point to clarify when you are texting women is that it’s not about you; it is about compelling a girl’s emotional response system when she reads your message. Indeed, if she feels no emotional response then your text message has failed to serve your purpose.

Remember, the desired outcome of sending text messages is to meet up with the girl, so try and keep this in mind. We can now focus on a few different ways to spark emotions in the girl when she reads your messages that will compel her to want to meet up with you again.

So your thought process before hitting the send button should always be:

“Will this make her more or less likely to meet up with me?”

If the answer is less likely then delete the text and start again!  So here are my top 5 pua text game strategies:

Text Game #1: Use mystery to ignite her passion.

“Love is three quarters curiosity.” Giacomo Casanova

The key to romancing women is to let them create an image of you in their head, without giving away every single facet of your personality.

So when you are learning how to text women try to maintain the mystery. Do not give detailed responses to any questions, instead be vague and let the girl work out what you mean. Try and limit the length of text messages so that hers are longer than yours, this subtly conveys that she is trying harder than you to keep the messages going.

The idea of using mystery will keep women coming back to find out more about you, and it’s this curiosity that will tempt them to meet up with you again.

Text Game #2: Do not rise to her provocative challenges.

So you receive a text message that says,

“Fun evening, although a few bits were slightly odd.”

This is sure to spark an emotional response from you, especially if you like the girl and want to see her again. The key to remember here is, no matter what emotional reaction you are having in this moment, you ignore her text and bat it straight back to her with something like:

“That’s funny because I noticed one good thing and one bad thing about you too.”

Either she will text back immediately and ask what these are and you can then use this mystery to entice her to buy you a drink to find out or (and these are my favourite kinds of texts) she will ignore your text and bat something else back …. LET THE FLIRTING BEGIN!

The point here is that you can ignore their comment because you are comfortable with who you are and don’t need to be validated by her. This will be sub-communicated when you ignore her attempt at gaining an emotional response from you, this is exactly the same when you are learning real life pua training strategies.

Text game #3: Converse to heighten her arousal.

If a girl has asked you a question and your response is going to be a boring reply, then simply ignore the question and move onto a new topic.

There is a skill in controlling the frame of a conversation to keep it fun and adventurous; you do not want to get trapped into mundane conversations that lead nowhere – remember you aim is to refine how to get another date.

Therefore do not feel the need to reply to every question that she asks you.  Remember your sole aim is for the girl again and boring texts will kill your opportunity.  The fact that you are avoiding answering some of her questions will also spark more curiosity and demonstrate that you are not afraid to take the lead.

Text Game #4: Leave her lusting for more.

Do not ask a girl a question in every text message that you send. By simply replying to a message and not always asking her anything in return conveys that you are not desperate to hear back from her from her. This is highly attractive.

So many guys feel like they have to ask a girl questions to ensure the continuation of a texting conversation, however all this does is kill they mystery and inevitably the texts will become boring.

So remember mix your text messages up, ask some questions but also don’t forget the power of simply replying to her messages without asking her anything.  This will also be a good indicator of you how much she likes you because if she reignites the texting then you can be sure that organising a date will be fairly straight forward.  This is exactly the same as during pua bootcamps you are taught not to always reignite the conversation and to be comfortable with silence.

Text Game #5: Give her the sensation of being led.

So when you want to organise another date with a girl from a text message DO NOT SEND:

“So when are you next free so I can take you out?”


Instead, lead the girl and say “I’m going to …. you should come along”.  You’ll find that this automatically takes the strain off her mind that it’s a formal date like a dinner or something else which may make her feel uncomfortable, and also serves to make the date far more fun.

Remember you need to lead the interaction and the date without coming across as too try hard!!  For more information visit our pua training page.

Written byGary GunnBased in the UK, Gary Gunn is a professional dating coach with over half a decade’s worth of experience specialising in helping both men and women find long term partners through his online coaching, live training and modern dating strategies.

Follow Me:
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to contact Gary direct email
or call

5 Ways To Get A Woman To Be More Adventurous In The Bedroom


domination in bed

How to get a woman to be more sexually adventurous #1: Trust is a must

Does your woman trust you – in general?

For most women, trust is quite the aphrodisiac. Because what she really wants is to be assured that your sexual (and emotional) feelings are about HER; that she’s not some generic placeholder. If she feels connected and trusting, she is more likely to release to her pleasures.

Women can easily be having sex for reasons other than peak pleasure: she wants to be “hot,” it’s socially acceptable, she wants to be liked and feel beautiful, etc. So it’s important that she trust you enough to settle into her own body and not remain more outside the experience by feeling ambivalent about being there in the first place.

How to get a woman to be more sexually adventurous #2: Talk about the subject of sex outside the bedroom

Your sexual personality and core values about sex are an inherent part of who you are. Same with her. And yet “gee, I hope mind reading works” is often how we feel with a lover, especially if emotions are involved.

Curiously, people can be embarrassed to talk about sex with the person they’d most like to experience pleasure with. So it’s important to improve sexual honesty and communication skills, so that it feels more normal to talk about sex as a part of your relationship. This is a life long lesson by the way, but you’re way ahead of the curve if you start early.

First step: figure out what sex means to you. Figure out your value structure around it.

Is it a compliment to companionship?

Is it the only thing that matters?

Do you know your own fantasy world – and what would you hope for from a woman you cared for?

Would you be open to her fantasies if she found the courage to tell you?

Get to know yourself first before opening up this dialogue. Be thoughtful about knowing what makes you tick, before asking more of your partner.

How to get a woman to be more sexually adventurous #3: Be less predictable

Here comes some tough love: No matter how giving you may be as a lover, if you are in service of your erections, you are utterly predictable. Unless you reframe your response to arousal it’s you and your biology that’s in charge.

Think of it this way – your erections got your attention very early on in your life and your first and strongest reaction was to ‘get rid of it’ (meaning seek release.) So then you grow up, have sexual partners and are on auto-pilot with the need to seek release, which is then part of every single one of your sexual moves.

Guys, we know before you do where you’re headed. So in order to become Less Predictable you need to become comfortable with holding your erotic charge.

How to get a woman to be more sexually adventurous #4: Encourage her discovery

Many women hone their sexual skills at the upfront stage: The Yes. The NO. The Maybe. Yes, we’re the deciders. You guys are pretty much always in forward motion. And even if you’re not on the chase, if you were presented with an opportunity for sex what are the chances you would turn it down?

The snag here is that women may get stuck at the deciding phase and not really own their sexual desires. Women often see their desires only in relationship to the man’s, not in their own right. So what is in your very best interest is if she starts to know herself, her desires, her boundaries….and then meets you half way.

Because if a woman constantly feels pressured into doing something, it keeps her on alert; she walls up and maybe even disconnects. This is the polar opposite of what you want. So give her the space to come to you. Set the conditions (in these 5 tips) so that she will do so, rather than trying to talk her into something.

How to get a woman to be more sexually adventurous #5: Think sensual: Look to the five senses

THE most important way to become more adventurous is for her to get out of a mental process and (safely) drop into her body’s sensations…. on a timeline that feels comfortable to her.

The quickest way to get her to feel her own body is with sensual play. Think of your five senses. Examples:

For Taste, feed her strawberries.

For Smell: gorgeous scented candles (and let’s not forget the ones that can actually be used for body massage as the wick burns down. Note: be sure the candle is marked for hot oil massage or else ouch!)

Hear: either beautiful music or if it’s appropriate, listen to a cd together that is anthology of short erotic stories (written for women.)

Touch: yes. Touch for its own sake is very good. See massage candle. Or maybe slow dance, but I mean s-l-o-w dance, so you can feel each other’s heart beat. See: beauty. Whatever that is to her. (Men, you are much more visually oriented than we are.)

Gentlemen, the challenge for you during sensual play is to not quickly jump to penetration, at which time the play changes. If you truly are trying to get your woman to feel more… well, see tip #3.

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Written by Victoria Strong A former award winning NYC television producer, Victoria’s move to Paris was the beginning of profound change – both personally and professionally. Today she’s a certified somatic sex educator, with a dynamic approach that helps men and women create lives with more joy, deeper connection and heightened sexual pleasure. Now UK based, Victoria works in person and via Skype and is founder of

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