Best Ways to Meet Someone in a New City

couple flirting in group settingThere are a lot of ways to meet people in a new city — take rear-ending them while confused by unfamiliar traffic patterns, for example. However, if the person you want to meet wouldn’t be intermittently screaming obscenities at you and phoning everyone from their insurance company to the National Guard, there are a few ways take an active role in meeting new people in your new city.

Facebook

Although Facebook was designed to connect people who already know each other, and blindly ‘friending’ people will get you blocked from using the software, the platform can be quite useful in meeting new people. It might feel a little stalker-ish, but if you have even one or two friends in your new town, stroll through their friend list and, when you come across someone who gets you all twitterpated, ask your friend to make an introduction.

There’s An App for That

There are a slew of apps out there designed to get people together based on mutual interests, such as learning a new language, an affinity for a particular literary genre, or classic cars. MeetUp, Foursquare’s new app Swarm, Gather and PeopleHunt are just a few.

Join a Real Club

Groups in cyberspace are convenient, but don’t forget about clubs outside of the virtual world. By actually meeting people face to face, you get the instant benefit of gauging physical attraction without worrying your next date is only “Facebook Hot.”

Social Lubrication

The oldest (and arguably best) way to meet someone is at the pub. Alcohol gets people talking, just be sure not to get too buzzed or you might find yourself stung by your own beer goggles.

Get Out There

Find church or synagogue functions if you’re religious, choose the trendiest local coffeehouse if you’re bookish, or go out of your way to a busier dog park if you have a four-legged roommate. When you see someone who strikes your fancy, don’t be too shy to approach them about your new-found shared interest.

 ASK

Make an effort to ask people in stores and restaurants what people do for “fun”. Make a profile on an online dating community Fling.me and send some messages out to see if anyone has had any luck with one way or another specific to your area . Chances are you’ll find a Fling online before you even make it out the door.

3 NEW Ways to Get His Number

couple textingIt may, at first, seem easy to get a guy’s phone number. Chances are, all you have to do is ask. However, there’s a certain stigma involved in just coming out and asking a guy for his phone number: It might give him the wrong idea about what kind of girl you are. If you wait for every guy you’re interested in to make the first move, you’re going to miss out on a lot of great guys. Get the digits subtly, and you’ll take more control over your sex life.

 

searching pruse for phoneI Think I Lost My Phone!

Turn on your ringer and bury your phone as deep into your purse as possible. Feign digging around in your bag and ask a cute guy if he can call your phone because you fear you lost it. Men naturally want to help women. When he calls, and you hear it ringing, presto! You have his number. Make sure you text him later to thank him for helping you, and drop your name.

 

 

 

i heart organicOrganic Dates

If you see a guy perusing something at Whole Foods or the farmers’ market, wait until he pauses in front of a veggie or the seafood case and casually ask him if she saw the recent article on organic certification, genetically modified foods, local growing co-ops, farm-raised catfish, or anything else which vaguely applies. Having bookmarked a few of these articles in advance, tell him you’ll text him a link to the article…he should definitely read it before buying that!

 

 

 

man flirting with womanIs This Thing On?

If you’re sitting near a guy, download a new boy-friendly ringtone. (Do this at a very low volume to avoid being an annoying phone character.) Some good suggestions are R2D2 or Chewbacca noises from “Star Wars,” a girl moaning briefly with pleasure, or a William Shatner quote from “Star Trek.” Turn the ringer volume up, turn to a cute guy and, holding your phone, say “call this number.” When he calls your phone number and a girl starts moaning, smile and say “I just downloaded a new ringtone.” If it works, you’ll both be laughing hysterically at this point, and you have his number.

 

7 Worst Online Dating Profile Photos

Your profile photo is often the first impression you have on people. This element is compounded by the advent of superficial platforms so you need to stay on your toes to make sure your dating game isn’t totally lost by one bad photo.

 

kurt cobainThe Someone Else

If your main profile photo is of someone else, you are obviously at odds with your appearance, or feel the need to make a statement with your photo, because you doubt anyone will get to know you long enough to naturally discover what you like. That, or you are so pretentious, you feel the need to shove your political, religious or musical tastes down anyone’s throat — even complete strangers on the internet.

 

lapdanceYou, With a Stripper

A photo taken by a bro on the sly while you get a lap dance, you with a Playmate-esque shotgirl  on each arm, or you with several girls in bikinis on a boat says one thing: You require sex (with anyone) and the validation it brings to your existence, and want anyone to know it. Basically, you’re a dick.

 

 

dad and kid with catYour Cat and/or Child

This tear-jerker type pic says your identity is pretty much consumed with the fact that you have a kid or a pet, because your life pretty much is consumed with the fact that you have a kid or a pet. You want the whole universe to see the pictures of your kid and say “Awww. You feed something regularly!” Or, you want the whole universe to see the pictures of your pet and say “Awww. You feed something regularly!” Either way, the ‘likes’ you get from these photos are out of pity.

 

double fisting drinksThe Doublefist

If you are featured in a profile photo with a drink in each hand, swigging Jager straight out of the bottle, slamming down chunks of a vodka-infused watermelon, or performing any other drinking feat for that matter, it tells the world you have a drinking problem — and will have fun at all costs. Those costs include, but are not limited to: your career, your education, and healthy relationships with other humans. This class of photos also proves you don’t care what anyone thinks about you professionally, and don’t plan on starting anytime soon.

 

 

 

kim k kidBaby You

You’re old, and it’s hilarious to see what you looked like sooo looong ago! In fact, you’re so old, people look at the photo and ask: “Is that you??”

 

 

 

 

 

over exposed filterThe Overexposed, Black and White, Out of Focus, Ethereal Art Photo

We all took a Photography 101 class, but your profile photos shouldn’t read like your freshman year syllabi. The only thing these photos say about you is that you are not attractive enough in person to bear the thought of an unadulterated photo. On that note, delete those photos of Alexander Hamilton, Euclid and any work of Gustav Klimt, and replace it with an simple sign that says: “I like stuff.”

 

 

 

tandem skydiveThe Showoff

The only thing vainer than a photo of you leaning on your hot sports car is one of you on top of a mountain. Or skydiving. Or skydiving in your sports car. The point of a profile is not to make people jealous. It’s to show who you are. If your life is an amalgamation of thrill-seeking narcissism because you crave validation from your peers, by all means post that photo of you hot air ballooning with Richard Branson and Michael Jackson’s ghost. We will all be impressed.

5 Reasons To Be Single This Summer

Better To Be Single Or In A Relationship Over The Summer?

Summer is such a fun time of year, with lots of outdoor activities and social get-togethers. Hanging out at the beach or the lake is enjoyable, whether you’re single or in a relationship. So which is better? Here are a few reasons that being single during the summer can be a good thing.

 

travel the worldPlan Your Own Vacation

This is a big one. For your summer vacation, you can do anything you want, without having to work around somebody else. If you really want to go ride elephants in Thailand, and his idea of adventure is camping by the lake, that can lead to a compromise that neither of you are really happy with. When you’re single, you can plan whatever vacation you want, and do the things you’re dreaming of. Whether you like to plan a big, exotic vacation, or just have the freedom to take off at a moment’s notice for a long weekend getaway, your options are open. Go ahead, and take advantage of this while you can!

 

alohaLong, Leisurely Days

In the summer, when you get off work for the day, you still have hours of daylight left to spend as you wish. It seems like you have more time available to do the things you love, or to try new things as well. Whether your interests run more to photography, canyoneering, or happy hours, there is plenty of time to indulge in the things you love to do. When you spend more time doing your favorite activities, you’ll probably even meet new people along the way, with similar interests to you.

 

pillows bedThe Sheets Stay Cooler

During the winter, it’s cozy and warm having somebody to snuggle with under the blankets. Body heat is a good thing, then. In the summertime, that’s not much of an advantage – quite the opposite. This time of year, body heat can make you sweaty and hot. During the summer, you’ll be more comfortable sleeping on clean, cool sheets, without that additional warmth radiating from a nearby body.

 

Solo People Watching

Try going to the beach and watching the couples who are trying to act romantic. It’s an eye-opener that will leave you glad that you’re at the beach solo, or with a group of friends. Face it, beaches just aren’t very conducive to romance, and it’a bad choice of venue for a date. Cuddling in the sand can be downright uncomfortable, and falling asleep on the towels with your arms around each other makes for some absurd tan lines. You can also try to identify new couples, by watching whether they’re still sucking in their tummies to try to show their best look to each other. While a beach date isn’t the best thing for them, it can make great entertainment for you and your friends.

 

have a summer flingYou’re Free For a Summer Fling

Obviously, you don’t need to have a guy around to enjoy an amazing summer. But being single means that if you happen to meet a good-looking guy at the beach (or riding elephants in Thailand), you are free to have a fling if you want to. It’s as easy as making a profile on  www.fling.me and meeting other people looking for their summer fling.

How To Make A Man Fall In Love

cupid shot with arrowOnce you’ve met the man you know you want — you really want — it’s time to solidify it. Proceed with care, though. A ham-handed attempt to be the ‘perfect’ girl for him and make him love you will be as transparent (and ineffective) as that cheesy lace negligee you spent way too much on.

 

Don’t be Delusional

You can’t make a man fall in love with you, and truth be told, you really don’t want to. Yes, you’re smitten with each other, but the love you seek is the kind that happens naturally. It’s that kind of love that can only come via a true bond: a connection that develops automatically because you’re just right for each other. You certainly can, however, take steps to create an atmosphere that will nurture rather than hinder the bond of being in love.

 

Be Happy

No one wants to be around a sad or angry girl. You have to start out happy with yourself before you can make someone else happy. If your career is in shambles, work hard to get out of that rut. If you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, get real, professional support. If you’re unhappy with the way you look, get your hair done, join a gym, or surround yourself with hip people from whom you can learn some fashion tips.

 

skunks flirting blushingBe Mysterious

No matter how much he says he does, he doesn’t want to know everything about you — or your day. Don’t make him suspicious or jealous, and don’t disappear for long periods of time, but do be allusive sometimes. Don’t text, call and visit him incessantly; always be the one who ends the conversation before he gets bored.

 

Be Interesting

Read, watch, and then read some more. Read about sports, watch Star Trek and Star Wars, and learn how to shoot a three-pointer without concern for your acrylics. As much as women do, men looking to settle down look for a partner who will be their equal. Men want to solve problems for you, but will be impressed that you are independent enough to fix something yourself or can hang in a conversation about something other than your new Louboutins.

 

Be Patient

Falling in love is rarely instantaneous. And even if it is, the dangerous speed of a whirlwind romance is bound to create tension. Once you both realize you are falling in love, your brains will reel from the stress of all this new pressure and you’ll get into arguments over nothing. Both of your fight or flight instincts will kick in — make sure you’re being patient, fair and understanding enough to recognize this and keep him from fleeing.

 

5 Foods Girls Shouldn’t Order on a First Date

bad girl dinnerOn a first date, first impressions are everything. You might think your breath is the only thing you need to worry about while perusing the menu, but think again. What you order on a first date can say a lot about you, and will either get your relationship cooking, or leave him with a bad taste in his mouth.

 

Onions, Garlic and Curry, Oh My!

So garlic is a bad idea all around if you’re expecting a sexy goodnight kiss. However, there are many more foods which cause bawdy breath due to a high sulfur content, such as salsa, and foods which contain curry. Avoid the sulfurs and he won’t suffer through a steamy goodbye.

 

No Needs for Utensils, Thanks

Ribs, chicken wings and pulled pork are not only sloppy and unattractive to eat, but the meats get stuck in your teeth, which could put an embarrassing situation on your hands. Nothing is as uncouth as a woman picking her teeth, even if it’s with a toothpick. (If you do find yourself with something stuck in your teeth, make sure you excuse yourself to the restroom, and do a breath check while you’re at it.) Not eating with your hands is a good first date rule-of-thumb.

 

I’m Secretly a Rabbit!

Contrary to popular girl belief, men know you eat. They know you eat food, and they know you eat at least an acceptable amount of various foods. (If he thinks you habitually starve yourself and still asked you out, you’ve got bigger problems than having a steak in front of him.) Don’t be pretentious and order a salad just to appear super fit or dainty. You’ll have to end your charade eventually, and if the date is going to last (especially if until morning) you’re going to need some protein to keep from getting cranky.

 

I Only Eat Lobster, Thanks

Never, ever, ask about the cost of something you’re ordering or express any concern about prices, especially if they’re not on the menu. Worrying about the price of your meal will make him feel self-conscious, as though you don’t think he can swing it. Worse yet, it will seem as though you’re not used to the best, which can lose you some respect. However, good manners would prevent you from going to the other end of the spectrum and ordering the most expensive thing on the menu, such as the filet mignon or the lobster, unless he first offers the suggestion for you both.

 

Thanksgiving is a Snooze!

Foods high in tryptophan, and foods which boost the brain’s release of serotonin, mixed with foods high in carbs cause serious sleepiness, especially if eaten within four hours of bedtime. Potatoes, bread, rice, tofu, and poultry such as turkey or chicken can contribute to a calming combo of sleep-aiding brain chemicals. So, if you want to avoid becoming a bore halfway through your date, avoid the potato-poultry duos. While you’re at it, avoid red wine or [YAWN] too many cocktails, which could also have you calling it quits when he’s just getting going.

 

5 Tips to Separate Him From His Pack

guys at the barHumans will always be social animals, but if you’re out there and you’ve set your sight on one particular example of the male species, your chances are way better if you can get him on his own. You’ve worked hard on your game, but it likely only works one-on-one. If you get him flying solo, you also won’t run the risk of a wingman running interference, or competition from a rival female. Keep a few tips in mind and you’ll be two-to-tango in no time.

 

Carry a Spare

If you are out with a close girlfriend, counteract his wingman’s interference with your own wing-girl. Just make sure she knows in advance that you’re pawning her off on the friend, or you’re going to get some serious bitching-out over text the next morning.

 

wing waitress

Have A Wing Girl

If you’re not out with a wing-girl, don’t be too shy to radio in for help. If you can call in the Thelma to your Louise — i.e. another hot chick who can keep his friend(s) busy — you’re golden. Hell, she might thank you for it later. That, or she’ll never speak to you again. Make sure the risk is worth it.

 

 

Abscond With Him

You might not want to invite him straight into your locker room, but you will score a few points by getting him off the gridiron and onto a neutral playing field. If you can escape the meat market and get him into a bar where you know the bartender, a club which you like but he has never been to, or a venue where he feels slightly off-guard — such as an art show opening — you’ll be able to take the upper hand. Try a rouse such as “I left my wallet somewhere, will you help me find it?”

 

All’s Fair in Love and War

If all else fails and you can’t seem to get him away from his pack, a little light flirting with his friends will excite that part of the male psyche which forces them to win a female’s attention over other males. Pitting them against each other should be done with caution, however. You don’t want to start a war which results in a fist fight, just get them mentally competing against each other. Eventually make your favorite clear, and the others should soon back away. It’s somewhere in the Bro Code, allegedly.

 

Just Ask

Don’t under-estimate simply asking his friend (or friends) to make scarce. Make sure you do it in Stealth Mode, however. He doesn’t even know you’re interested in him — yet. He doesn’t want to feel Cougared. Wait until his friend goes to the bathroom and catch him before he returns. There aren’t too many guy friends who wouldn’t hastily invent some excuse to rush out early after you lay all your cards on the table, and reveal your sneaky plan to get his friend all to yourself. If you play your cards right, the next morning, your crush will thank his buddies for it.

 

5 Tips for Meeting Someone at the Gym

flirting at the gymThe gym can be one of the best places to meet someone: not only are you sure they care about their appearance and health as much as you do, but workout gears usually ensures you get a little sneak peek at the physical goods before you get too far down the dating road. Tread lightly, however. Some gym people are strictly there for a work out.

 

Don’t be ‘That Guy’

The worst guy at the gym is the one who’s there to pick up women. Although there are plenty of girls who want to be picked up while working out, it’s a mistake to assume most women want to be hit on in that situation. There’s a certain vulnerability to huffing through an hour treadmill jog in tight and revealing spandex, sans make-up, so don’t go on a balls out attack or you’ll only get defense in return.

 

Work on Your Rep[s]

Make sure you’re a healthy presence in the gym. If you’re going to offer to ‘spot’ someone on the bench press, you need to be two things: obviously physically fit enough to do so, and trusted by the gym staff and other gym-users. The last thing you want is for her to notice nervous glances or an eye roll from other gym folk when you offer to help.

 

Make Friends

One of the best ice breakers is the simple act of knowing someone’s name or even occupation before you meet them. It shows that you liked them enough to invest the time in asking about them. Just don’t get too stalker-y by pumping everyone in the gym for information or you’ll really creep them out. Becoming friends with the gym staff and patrons will help in your future conquests.

 

Practice Good Hygiene

If that workout god or goddess on whom you have had your eye sees you walk away from a machine without wiping it down, you’re sunk. Still worse, the last thing you want is the reputation for being ‘that smelly guy.’ Sweating at the gym is attractive; being stinky, well, just stinks.

 

Get Game

“‘Can You Spot Me?’ ‘Do You Know How This Machine Works?’ and ‘I Like Your Outfit’” are all legitimate ice breakers, but don’t rely on them. The best first impressions will happen naturally, and if she’s not interested in meeting people at the gym, the MP3 player likely won’t come off the whole time, so take the hint and don’t force it.

 

5 Tips For Dating Someone At Work

office romanceHaving a fling with or even dating a co-worker offers many a challenge beyond the ‘How to Score’ problem. Dating someone with whom you work presents the problem of a potential break-up and the troublesome aftermath. Don’t sell the idea short, but proceed with caution, the risks are just the beginning of great rewards.

 

1. Keep it Secret, for Now

As tempted as you are to tell your bros or girls that you’ve bagged the office hottie (or are trying to), don’t let the kitty out of the bag until you both decide it’s in your mutual best interest to do so. Don’t forget, your careers are now part of your dating equation.

 

2. Don’t Lose Them Respect

If word gets out a girl is sleeping with a co-worker, she can lose a lot of office cred, which could end up hurting her career. Guys who hunt at work could be seen as dogs by female co-workers. Make sure when you do tell the rest of the office, it’s done with decorum, not by getting caught making out in a dark restaurant booth on your lunch hours.

 

3. Take a Break

If you’re smitten with someone at work, you’ll want to spend all your time with them by, say, coinciding your smoke breaks or getting coffee when they do. But once you seal the deal and a relationship begins, slow down the inter-office interaction. They are going to have to see you all day, and all night, and you don’t want them to burn out and tire of you.

 

4. Beware the Married Co-worker

An affair is still an affair, and they are particularly easy to get into with co-workers whom you see day after day and feel comfortable with. If you’ve moved on to a physical relationship with your ‘work wife,’ or ‘work husband’ (they’re married to someone else but carrying on a relationship with you) he or she might be leading you on just to have a hot affair.

5. Getting Bossy in Bed

If an office romance has begun between you and your boss, be careful — it could be nothing more than an illicit affair in disguise. If things go bad, they will rank above you at work, and it’s possible you’ll find yourself both alone and unemployed.

Tips For Meeting His Parents

meeting her parentsAs much as he has to impress your parents, you need to impress his. His mother could be even more protective of her little boy as your father is of you, so bear in mind that he’s not the only one who has to break out the top hat and cane for a little obligatory performance. Keep a few major points in mind and you’re sure to leave them applauding.

 

Bring a Gift

A gift will always be appreciated. It shows you made the effort to fit into their home as a member of the family. Make sure it will be a welcome gift, though. His parents could be non-drinkers, or keep Kosher, so discuss the appropriateness of the gift with your guy in advance.

 

Don’t be a ‘Gold-Digger’

If you’re unemployed and you know you’re going to meet them in a matter of months, start doing some volunteer work in your city. The question “what do you do?” will inevitably come up. If you’re between jobs, you can at least say you’re doing some pro bono work with a youth group. And who knows, you might like the work and it could actually lead to a real job.

 

Dress Appropriately

Extreme conservatism in dress is your only option for meeting a guy’s parents. Don’t wear a lot of makeup, a skirt that falls far above the knee, or stripper pumps. A sequin halter top, Daisy Duke cut-offs and Lucite heels tell his parents one thing: their son is dating a slut.

meeting the parents what to wear

Don’t Freak Out

Be prepared if you walk in the door and his family is all over you like a pack of wolves on a wounded rabbit. Don’t get overwhelmed and become emotional: nothing looks worse than not being strong enough to hold your own. Act naturally, stay calm, and roll with the punches.

 

Bow Out Gracefully

If the situation is really stressful, make an appropriately speedy exit. Have one drink, if necessary. Do not, however, get drunk. Don’t be rude and walk out in the middle of dinner, but don’t stay too long at the party, running the risk of having one too many drinks, saying something outrageous, and ruining all your hard work.